AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist · Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Individual Therapy for Sex and Porn Addiction in Newton, Massachusetts
Online Sex Therapy for Massachusetts Adults in Newton, Wellesley, Needham, Weston, and Natick
Specialized Sex Therapy in Newton and Wellesley, Massachusetts
Your partner discovered that you’ve spent thousands of dollars on cam sites and private sexual interactions online. They’re devastated by what you’ve been doing and furious that you hid it from them.
You earn a comfortable living, and for a long time, you told yourself the spending wasn’t a serious problem because you could afford it. But the purchases kept adding up. You paid for private conversations, sexual content, and experiences you hadn’t planned to buy, sometimes spending hundreds of dollars in a single evening.
You knew your partner would be upset, so you kept the purchases separate from your shared finances. You told yourself you’d stop, but after a few weeks or months, you’d find yourself paying for another interaction and hiding that one, too.
Now your partner wants to know how long this has been happening, who you’ve been communicating with, and exactly what you’ve done. They feel completely betrayed, and they’re questioning what else you’ve lied about.
You’ve tried answering their questions, but the conversations keep turning into arguments. Sometimes you become defensive about the money because you know you can afford what you’ve spent. Other times, you feel ashamed of having concealed so much and struggle to explain why you continued doing something you’d repeatedly decided to stop.
Your partner is questioning whether they can stay in the relationship. They’re not reassured by another promise that the spending is over, and you’re scared they have good reason not to believe you.
You haven’t made another purchase since the discovery, but you’re worried about what happens when the immediate crisis settles down. You’ve stopped before, only to return to the same sites once things felt normal again.
You want to understand why you kept returning to paid sexual experiences despite knowing the consequences, and how to make changes that your partner, and you, can begin to trust.
what we’ll do together
How I Help You Stop Repeating Sexual Behaviors That Threaten Your Relationship
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m both an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist. My experience with sexual behavior and relationship difficulties helps me address both what keeps drawing you back to paid sexual experiences and the damage that secrecy has caused in your relationship.
I’ll help you understand why these sexual interactions have become so difficult to give up and what has made your previous efforts to stop unsuccessful. We’ll use that understanding to address the reasons you keep returning to them, rather than relying on another promise to stop.
I’ll help you recognize when sexual excitement is beginning to outweigh your decision not to spend money, slow down the decisions that lead to another purchase, and follow through on the limits you’ve set for yourself.
I’ll also help you take responsibility for the secrecy and sexual betrayal without getting pulled into arguments about whether you could afford the spending. We’ll work on answering your partner’s questions honestly, acknowledging the impact of what happened without becoming defensive, and responding when your partner has difficulty believing you. Rebuilding trust will depend on consistent changes in your behavior, and your partner may need time before they feel reassured.
Between sessions, you’ll put what we’ve worked on into practice. We’ll look at what’s improving, where you’re still struggling, and what needs to change in our approach so you’re not left repeating efforts that haven’t worked.
Learn more about my approach to sex therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior →
What I Can Help You Address in Sex Therapy
1. You can begin trusting yourself to follow through on decisions about sex and pornography.
In sex therapy, we’ll look at why previous attempts to change your sexual behavior haven’t lasted and identify opportunities to make different choices before changing course becomes especially difficult.
Together, we’ll develop a plan for those moments and examine what happens when you put it into practice, including what needs to change when something doesn’t go as expected.
You can begin building confidence in your ability to keep the commitments you make to yourself. Being home alone, having an unexpected free evening, or experiencing a strong sexual urge doesn’t have to mean repeating a behavior you’ve decided to stop. You can begin collecting evidence from your own experience that you’re capable of making different choices.
2. You can get your time and attention back instead of organizing your life around sexual behavior.
In sex therapy, we’ll examine how much time and attention sexual behavior has been taking from other parts of your life. That includes time spent anticipating the next opportunity, arranging your schedule, concealing what happened, or worrying about being discovered.
I’ll help you understand why certain situations make sexual thoughts particularly difficult to set aside. We’ll work on recognizing when you’re beginning to organize your time around the behavior and identifying what would help you make a different decision.
You can spend an evening alone doing what you intended, concentrate on work without repeatedly checking a site or app, and enjoy time with people you care about without thinking about when you’ll next have an opportunity for sexual activity. You can regain time and mental energy for the parts of your life you’ve been neglecting.
3. You can understand what you’re seeking from sexual behavior and find other ways to meet those needs.
In therapy, we’ll explore what you’re getting from sexual behavior that you haven’t been able to find elsewhere. It might be relief from stress, excitement, feeling wanted, or something you haven’t recognized yet.
I’ll help you understand what you’re feeling and wanting in those situations, including needs you’ve struggled to express or satisfy in other parts of your life. We’ll explore how you can meet those needs more directly, without repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior that conflicts with your intentions or creates unwanted consequences.
You can begin responding to loneliness, stress, rejection, boredom, or a desire for excitement in ways that genuinely address what you’re missing. You can have more choices about how to spend your time and meet your needs, rather than repeatedly turning to sexual activity and regretting it afterward.
4. You can stop organizing your life around secrets and begin earning back your partner’s trust.
If your sexual behavior has involved dishonesty or broken agreements, I’ll help you understand what taking responsibility requires. We’ll examine what makes honesty difficult, including fear of your partner’s reaction, shame about your choices, or the temptation to minimize what happened.
I’ll help you prepare for difficult conversations and learn how to answer questions truthfully, acknowledge the harm you’ve caused, and avoid making promises you aren’t prepared to keep. We’ll also discuss what consistent behavior and accountability can look like over time, recognizing that your partner may need considerable time before they feel comfortable trusting you again.
You can stop deleting conversations, concealing charges, inventing explanations, or worrying about what might happen if your partner picks up your phone. Instead, you can begin living more honestly and giving your partner reasons to believe what you say. You can feel better about how you’re treating the people who matter to you, even while rebuilding trust remains difficult.
5. You can enjoy your sexuality without feeling ashamed of your desires or afraid of losing control.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you examine your sexual desires and preferences without assuming that frequent sex, pornography, masturbation, or consensual sexual interests are inherently unhealthy.
We’ll distinguish between sexual desires you enjoy, behaviors you’ve decided you want to change, and feelings of shame or discomfort that may come from judgments you’ve learned about sexuality. We’ll also explore how to pursue sexual pleasure in ways that respect your values, your boundaries, and any agreements you’ve made with a partner.
If you’re partnered, we can address difficulties discussing sex, differences in desire, and concerns about intimacy. When appropriate and with your agreement, your partner may participate in some sessions.
You can feel more comfortable with your sexuality while becoming more confident in your ability to make deliberate choices. You can enjoy sexual pleasure without treating every desire as a problem, and make decisions about your behavior without repeatedly violating your own boundaries or relationship agreements.
What to Expect in Sex Therapy for Porn and Sex Addiction
Understand Your Sexual Behavior So You Can Change It
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about your sexual history, the behaviors you’re concerned about, and how they’ve affected your life. We’ll discuss what you’ve already tried to change, what happened when you tried, and what you want to be different.
I’ll also want to understand what makes the behavior so compelling for you. Maybe you’ve noticed that certain feelings or situations make it harder to resist a certain behavior. Or perhaps you keep making the same decisions even when you know exactly what the consequences could be.
I’ll help you examine what happens before, during, and after those experiences, including the choices you make long before you engage in the behavior. We’ll also explore your sexual desires, relationships, and experiences with sex to understand what may be contributing to the difficulty you’ve had changing.
My experience as an AASECT-certified sex therapist helps me recognize when sexual habits, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or conflicts about sexuality need different kinds of attention. That means our work can focus on what’s relevant to your situation rather than relying on the same advice you’ve already tried.
Make Changes That Work for You
Once we understand more about what’s happening, I’ll help you address the difficulties that have made changing your behavior so challenging.
That might involve working through shame that makes you reluctant to be honest, learning how to handle strong feelings without immediately turning to sexual activity, or addressing sexual dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll also identify opportunities to make different decisions before you reach the point where you typically return to the behavior. I’ll work with you on how to respond in those situations, and we’ll discuss what happens when you try those changes outside our sessions.
When something doesn’t go as planned, we’ll examine why. Rather than simply asking you to try harder, I’ll help you understand what happened and what needs to change in our approach.
Sex Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Adults and People in Open Relationships
I have extensive experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients and people in open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
I don’t assume that having multiple sexual partners, enjoying casual sex, using hookup apps, or having unconventional sexual interests means your sexual behavior is unhealthy.
What I want to understand is whether you’re able to make decisions about your sexual activity that are consistent with your intentions, your values, and the agreements you’ve made with partners.
If you’ve broken relationship agreements, we can address that honestly without treating your relationship structure or sexual identity as the problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
I’m an autistic therapist who also trains other mental health professionals in working with neurodivergent clients. My teaching includes autism and sexuality, ADHD and executive functioning, sexual and gender diversity, and adapting therapy to neurodivergent people’s needs.
If you’re autistic or have ADHD, I’ll consider how your attention, impulsivity, need for stimulation, routines, sensory experiences, and communication style may affect the sexual behavior you’re trying to change.
I’ll use my experience to develop approaches that fit how you think, communicate, and make decisions. These differences can be important when we’re figuring out why previous attempts haven’t worked and what approaches are likely to be useful for you.
Who is A good fit for Sex and Porn Addiction Therapy?
I work with adults whose pornography use or consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control and is causing problems in their lives. This can include people who are facing legal consequences related to their sexual behavior, such as an arrest for purchasing sex.
You may be a good fit for therapy with me if:
You’ve tried to stop watching porn, using hookup apps, paying for sex, or engaging in other sexual behaviors, but you keep returning to them.
You’re spending more time or money on sexual activity than you intended, and it’s beginning to interfere with your work, relationships, or other responsibilities.
Your partner has discovered sexual behavior you’ve been hiding, and you’re scared your relationship may not survive another broken promise.
You haven’t been caught, but you’re increasingly worried about what could happen if you continue.
You’re doing things you once told yourself you’d never do, and you’re concerned about where your behavior could lead.
Situations Outside My Clinical Practice
→ I don’t provide specialized treatment for sexual offenses, including sexual assault, rape, voyeurism, child sexual abuse, or offenses involving child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This includes situations where someone hasn’t been arrested or charged.
→ I also don’t provide forensic psychosexual evaluations or prepare reports for legal proceedings.
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist for Problematic Sexual Behavior
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and I’ve worked with individuals and couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior for decades.
Over the years, I’ve worked with people whose sexual behavior has put their relationships, careers, finances, or personal lives at risk. Many have tried repeatedly to stop on their own, sometimes keeping their behavior secret for years before deciding to get help.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I bring specialized training in human sexuality to understanding why changing sexual behavior can be so difficult. I’m interested in what makes certain experiences compelling, what keeps someone returning to them, and what needs to change for them to make different decisions.
I help clients understand why they keep returning to sexual behavior they want to change, address what has made previous attempts unsuccessful, and make decisions they can follow through on.
If the description on this page sounded like your situation, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with adult clients in Newton, Wellesley, and across Massachusetts.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex and porn addiction therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar by clicking the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you’ll receive new client forms via email, which you’ll review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Newton & Wellesley, Massachusetts
I’m independently licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW1144781).
I provide individual sex and porn addiction therapy through secure, HIPAA-compliant video to adults throughout Newton, Wellesley, and the surrounding communities.
Areas I serve include:
Newton: Newton Centre, Newtonville, West Newton, Newton Highlands, Newton Upper Falls, Newton Lower Falls, Newton Corner, Auburndale, Chestnut Hill, Waban, Nonantum, Oak Hill, and Thompsonville.
Wellesley: Wellesley Square, Wellesley Hills, Wellesley Farms, Wellesley Lower Falls, Linden Square, and the Wellesley College area.
Nearby communities: Needham, Weston, Waltham, Watertown, Dover, Natick, Sherborn, Wayland, and Framingham.
I also work with adults throughout Greater Boston and across Massachusetts. Because all sessions take place online, you can attend from home or another private location while physically located in Massachusetts.
Common Questions about therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior in Newton & Wellesley —
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That depends partly on the agreements and expectations in your relationship. Couples have different boundaries around pornography, sexual conversations, cam sites, and paid interactions with other people.
Even if you didn’t consider what you were doing to be infidelity, your partner may experience it as a betrayal, especially if you concealed the interactions or repeatedly denied that they were happening.
I can help you understand how your behavior crossed the boundaries in your relationship and take responsibility for the harm it caused without assuming that every couple defines infidelity the same way.
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It may be an important part of rebuilding trust, especially when you’ve concealed both sexual interactions and spending. Your partner has learned that your previous assurances weren’t reliable, so they may need a way to verify that your behavior has changed.
The couples therapy method I’m trained in emphasizes transparency and verification after infidelity. Depending on your circumstances, I may encourage you to agree to sharing financial records, account activity, or other information that helps your partner feel reassured that you’re following through on your commitments.
Your partner has good reason to ask for verification after discovering that you’ve been concealing your behavior. I’ll help you understand how transparency can contribute to rebuilding trust, address any defensiveness you feel about sharing this information, and establish clear agreements you can consistently honor. Your partner needs to see that your actions match what you’re telling them.
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Yes. You can begin individual sex therapy to address your sexual behavior while you and your partner consider couples therapy to address the betrayal and its effects on your relationship.
If you and your partner also want couples therapy, we can discuss the most appropriate arrangement for receiving both services, including whether working with a separate couples therapist would be advisable.
Still Have Questions about therapy for Out-of-control sexual behavior?
Use the button below to send me a message. I will respond within 2 business days.