AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist · Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Individual Therapy for Sex and Porn Addiction in Massachusetts
Online Sex Therapy for Out-Of-Control Sexual Behavior Throughout Massachusetts
Specialized Sex Therapy in Massachusetts
There are things you’ve done sexually that you’re ashamed to admit, even to yourself.
Maybe you’ve spent more money on pornography or sexual encounters than you ever imagined you would. You’ve exchanged explicit messages with someone outside your relationship, paid for sexual experiences you’ve kept secret, or continued watching porn long after you promised yourself you’d stop.
Afterward, you feel terrible about yourself.
You wonder what someone would think if they knew everything. You may have started thinking of yourself as dishonest, selfish, or weak. Sometimes you look at the people who trust you and wonder what they’d think of you if they could see what you’ve been doing.
You’ve tried to change. Maybe you deleted accounts, set limits, or told yourself that the next time would be the last.
But you keep going back, and each time it happens, you have one more reason to feel disappointed in yourself.
The confusing part is that you may genuinely enjoy the sexual experiences you’re trying to stop. Maybe you like pornography, enjoy being desired, or look forward to the excitement of meeting someone new. Sometimes sexual activity gives you relief from stress, loneliness, or feelings you don’t know what to do with.
You may feel good while it’s happening and ashamed almost immediately afterward.
You’re not always sure whether you’re ashamed because of the consequences of your behavior, because you’ve violated your own values, or because you’ve learned to believe that some of your sexual interests are unacceptable.
Perhaps you’ve started questioning your sexuality itself. You wonder whether your desire for certain experiences means something is wrong with you, or whether another person would find those desires disturbing.
Meanwhile, your sexual behavior may be consuming more of your time and attention than you want. You check messages when you’re supposed to be working, stay up late watching porn, or find yourself planning when you’ll next have time alone.
If you’re in a relationship, you may be concealing subscriptions, messages, or sexual encounters. Perhaps your partner has discovered something and is furious or devastated. You’ve apologized, but you’re struggling to explain why you made those decisions.
Or perhaps they don’t know, and you’re scared of what could happen if they find out.
You may have considered therapy before but stopped yourself. The thought of sitting across from a stranger and describing your sexual behavior makes you uncomfortable. You’re afraid you’ll be judged, told that your desires are abnormal, or expected to give up parts of your sexuality you don’t want to lose.
Maybe you’ve tried to convince yourself that you can handle the problem privately. Admitting you need help feels like another failure when you’ve already spent so much time criticizing yourself.
But you’re tired of keeping secrets, making decisions you regret, and wondering whether you’re becoming someone you don’t recognize.
You want to understand your sexual behavior without feeling disgusted with yourself. You want to change the decisions that are causing problems, feel more confident about your ability to follow through, and stop treating every sexual desire as evidence that something is wrong with you.
what we’ll do together
How I Help You Address Sexual Behavior and Shame
By the time people contact me, some have spent years keeping their sexual behavior secret. They may have tried repeatedly to change it, sometimes becoming increasingly critical of themselves when their efforts haven’t lasted.
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m an AASECT-certified sex therapist. My training includes human sexuality, sexual concerns, and the ways that personal beliefs, relationships, and earlier experiences can affect how people understand their sexual desires.
I don’t assume that frequent masturbation, pornography use, unconventional sexual interests, or consensual non-monogamy are inherently unhealthy. I also don’t dismiss the harm that sexual behavior can cause when someone repeatedly violates their own boundaries or agreements with a partner.
Sometimes a person feels ashamed because they’ve made decisions that conflict with their values. Sometimes they’ve learned to judge sexual desires that aren’t harmful. And sometimes both are happening at once.
I can help you distinguish between those concerns so that we can address the sexual behavior you want to change without treating your sexuality itself as the problem.
Learn more about my approach to sex therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior →
What I Can Help You Address in Sex Therapy
1. You can begin trusting yourself to follow through on decisions about sex and pornography.
In sex therapy, we’ll look at why previous attempts to change your sexual behavior haven’t lasted and identify opportunities to make different choices before changing course becomes especially difficult.
Together, we’ll develop a plan for those moments and examine what happens when you put it into practice, including what needs to change when something doesn’t go as expected.
You can begin building confidence in your ability to keep the commitments you make to yourself. Being home alone, having an unexpected free evening, or experiencing a strong sexual urge doesn’t have to mean repeating a behavior you’ve decided to stop. You can begin collecting evidence from your own experience that you’re capable of making different choices.
2. You can get your time and attention back instead of organizing your life around sexual behavior.
In sex therapy, we’ll examine how much time and attention sexual behavior has been taking from other parts of your life. That includes time spent anticipating the next opportunity, arranging your schedule, concealing what happened, or worrying about being discovered.
I’ll help you understand why certain situations make sexual thoughts particularly difficult to set aside. We’ll work on recognizing when you’re beginning to organize your time around the behavior and identifying what would help you make a different decision.
You can spend an evening alone doing what you intended, concentrate on work without repeatedly checking a site or app, and enjoy time with people you care about without thinking about when you’ll next have an opportunity for sexual activity. You can regain time and mental energy for the parts of your life you’ve been neglecting.
3. You can understand what you’re seeking from sexual behavior and find other ways to meet those needs.
In therapy, we’ll explore what you’re getting from sexual behavior that you haven’t been able to find elsewhere. It might be relief from stress, excitement, feeling wanted, or something you haven’t recognized yet.
I’ll help you understand what you’re feeling and wanting in those situations, including needs you’ve struggled to express or satisfy in other parts of your life. We’ll explore how you can meet those needs more directly, without repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior that conflicts with your intentions or creates unwanted consequences.
You can begin responding to loneliness, stress, rejection, boredom, or a desire for excitement in ways that genuinely address what you’re missing. You can have more choices about how to spend your time and meet your needs, rather than repeatedly turning to sexual activity and regretting it afterward.
4. You can stop organizing your life around secrets and begin earning back your partner’s trust.
If your sexual behavior has involved dishonesty or broken agreements, I’ll help you understand what taking responsibility requires. We’ll examine what makes honesty difficult, including fear of your partner’s reaction, shame about your choices, or the temptation to minimize what happened.
I’ll help you prepare for difficult conversations and learn how to answer questions truthfully, acknowledge the harm you’ve caused, and avoid making promises you aren’t prepared to keep. We’ll also discuss what consistent behavior and accountability can look like over time, recognizing that your partner may need considerable time before they feel comfortable trusting you again.
You can stop deleting conversations, concealing charges, inventing explanations, or worrying about what might happen if your partner picks up your phone. Instead, you can begin living more honestly and giving your partner reasons to believe what you say. You can feel better about how you’re treating the people who matter to you, even while rebuilding trust remains difficult.
5. You can enjoy your sexuality without feeling ashamed of your desires or afraid of losing control.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you examine your sexual desires and preferences without assuming that frequent sex, pornography, masturbation, or consensual sexual interests are inherently unhealthy.
We’ll distinguish between sexual desires you enjoy, behaviors you’ve decided you want to change, and feelings of shame or discomfort that may come from judgments you’ve learned about sexuality. We’ll also explore how to pursue sexual pleasure in ways that respect your values, your boundaries, and any agreements you’ve made with a partner.
If you’re partnered, we can address difficulties discussing sex, differences in desire, and concerns about intimacy. When appropriate and with your agreement, your partner may participate in some sessions.
You can feel more comfortable with your sexuality while becoming more confident in your ability to make deliberate choices. You can enjoy sexual pleasure without treating every desire as a problem, and make decisions about your behavior without repeatedly violating your own boundaries or relationship agreements.
What to Expect in Sex Therapy for Porn and Sex Addiction
Understand Your Sexual Behavior So You Can Change It
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about your sexual history, the behaviors you’re concerned about, and how they’ve affected your life. We’ll discuss what you’ve already tried to change, what happened when you tried, and what you want to be different.
I’ll also want to understand what makes the behavior so compelling for you. Maybe you’ve noticed that certain feelings or situations make it harder to resist a certain behavior. Or perhaps you keep making the same decisions even when you know exactly what the consequences could be.
I’ll help you examine what happens before, during, and after those experiences, including the choices you make long before you engage in the behavior. We’ll also explore your sexual desires, relationships, and experiences with sex to understand what may be contributing to the difficulty you’ve had changing.
My experience as an AASECT-certified sex therapist helps me recognize when sexual habits, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or conflicts about sexuality need different kinds of attention. That means our work can focus on what’s relevant to your situation rather than relying on the same advice you’ve already tried.
Make Changes That Work for You
Once we understand more about what’s happening, I’ll help you address the difficulties that have made changing your behavior so challenging.
That might involve working through shame that makes you reluctant to be honest, learning how to handle strong feelings without immediately turning to sexual activity, or addressing sexual dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll also identify opportunities to make different decisions before you reach the point where you typically return to the behavior. I’ll work with you on how to respond in those situations, and we’ll discuss what happens when you try those changes outside our sessions.
When something doesn’t go as planned, we’ll examine why. Rather than simply asking you to try harder, I’ll help you understand what happened and what needs to change in our approach.
Sex Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Adults and People in Open Relationships
I have extensive experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients and people in open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
I don’t assume that having multiple sexual partners, enjoying casual sex, using hookup apps, or having unconventional sexual interests means your sexual behavior is unhealthy.
What I want to understand is whether you’re able to make decisions about your sexual activity that are consistent with your intentions, your values, and the agreements you’ve made with partners.
If you’ve broken relationship agreements, we can address that honestly without treating your relationship structure or sexual identity as the problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
I’m an autistic therapist who also trains other mental health professionals in working with neurodivergent clients. My teaching includes autism and sexuality, ADHD and executive functioning, sexual and gender diversity, and adapting therapy to neurodivergent people’s needs.
If you’re autistic or have ADHD, I’ll consider how your attention, impulsivity, need for stimulation, routines, sensory experiences, and communication style may affect the sexual behavior you’re trying to change.
I’ll use my experience to develop approaches that fit how you think, communicate, and make decisions. These differences can be important when we’re figuring out why previous attempts haven’t worked and what approaches are likely to be useful for you.
Who is A good fit for Sex and Porn Addiction Therapy?
I work with adults whose pornography use or consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control and is causing problems in their lives. This can include people who are facing legal consequences related to their sexual behavior, such as an arrest for purchasing sex.
You may be a good fit for therapy with me if:
You’ve tried to stop watching porn, using hookup apps, paying for sex, or engaging in other sexual behaviors, but you keep returning to them.
You’re spending more time or money on sexual activity than you intended, and it’s beginning to interfere with your work, relationships, or other responsibilities.
Your partner has discovered sexual behavior you’ve been hiding, and you’re scared your relationship may not survive another broken promise.
You haven’t been caught, but you’re increasingly worried about what could happen if you continue.
You’re doing things you once told yourself you’d never do, and you’re concerned about where your behavior could lead.
Situations Outside My Clinical Practice
→ I don’t provide specialized treatment for sexual offenses, including sexual assault, rape, voyeurism, child sexual abuse, or offenses involving child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This includes situations where someone hasn’t been arrested or charged.
→ I also don’t provide forensic psychosexual evaluations or prepare reports for legal proceedings.
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist for Problematic Sexual Behavior
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and I’ve worked with individuals and couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior for decades.
Over the years, I’ve worked with people whose sexual behavior has put their relationships, careers, finances, or personal lives at risk. Many have tried repeatedly to stop on their own, sometimes keeping their behavior secret for years before deciding to get help.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I bring specialized training in human sexuality to understanding why changing sexual behavior can be so difficult. I’m interested in what makes certain experiences compelling, what keeps someone returning to them, and what needs to change for them to make different decisions.
I help clients understand why they keep returning to sexual behavior they want to change, address what has made previous attempts unsuccessful, and make decisions they can follow through on.
If the description on this page sounded like your situation, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with adult clients across Massachusetts.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex and porn addiction therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar by clicking the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you’ll receive new client forms via email, which you’ll review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Massachusetts
I’m independently licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW1144781), and I work with clients with out-of-control sexual behavior via secure, HIPAA-compliant video across the state.
This includes:
Boston and surrounding communities, including Brookline, Cambridge, Somerville, Chelsea, Revere, Medford, Malden, Everett, and Winthrop
MetroWest and the western suburbs, including Newton, Wellesley, Needham, Weston, Waltham, Natick, Framingham, Wayland, and Sudbury
The North Shore, including Salem, Beverly, Marblehead, Peabody, Danvers, Lynn, Swampscott, Gloucester, and Newburyport
The South Shore, including Quincy, Braintree, Weymouth, Hingham, Cohasset, Scituate, Norwell, Hanover, and Plymouth
Central Massachusetts, including Worcester, Shrewsbury, Westborough, Northborough, Marlborough, Leominster, Fitchburg, and Gardner
Western Massachusetts, including Springfield, Chicopee, Holyoke, Northampton, Amherst, Easthampton, Pittsfield, and Westfield
The South Coast, including New Bedford, Fall River, Dartmouth, Fairhaven, Westport, and Somerset
Cape Cod and the Islands, including Barnstable, Hyannis, Falmouth, Sandwich, Chatham, Provincetown, Nantucket, and Martha’s Vineyard
The Merrimack Valley, including Lowell, Lawrence, Haverhill, Methuen, Andover, North Andover, and Chelmsford
If you’re anywhere in Massachusetts, I can work with you.
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We’ll look at what’s happening in your life rather than relying on shame alone to determine whether there’s a problem.
I’ll ask whether you’ve repeatedly tried to change your behavior, whether it’s interfering with responsibilities or relationships, and whether it conflicts with your values or agreements with partners.
We’ll also explore where your feelings about sex come from. You may discover that some sexual interests you’ve been judging are compatible with the life you want, while other behaviors are causing consequences you sincerely want to address.
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Yes. Enjoying a sexual experience doesn’t prevent you from recognizing that your decisions have caused harm.
We can examine what made the experience appealing, why you continued pursuing it, and what responsibility for the consequences requires.
I’ll help you address dishonesty or broken agreements without expecting you to deny what you enjoyed about the behavior. Understanding that attraction can help us identify what needs to change, while keeping your partner’s hurt and your responsibilities to them in view.
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I’m not in network with any insurance company so I don’t bill insurance directly.
However, if you have out-of-network benefits, I can provide a monthly Superbill for you to submit to your insurance company.
You’re also welcome to use your HSA/FSA for our sessions.
Common Questions about therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior in Massachusetts —
Still Have Questions about therapy for Out-of-control sexual behavior?
Use the button below to send me a message. I will respond within 2 business days.