AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist · Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Individual Therapy for Sex and Porn Addiction in Boston, Massachusetts
Online Sex Therapy for Massachusetts Adults in Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline, and surrounding communities
Specialized Sex Therapy in Boston, Massachusetts
You keep choosing porn and masturbation over sex with your partner, even though you miss the sexual relationship you used to have.
You still find your partner attractive, and when you do have sex, you often enjoy it. But you’ve stopped initiating as often as you once did, and when you have time to yourself, you usually end up watching porn instead.
At first, you didn’t think much of it. Watching porn was convenient, especially when you were tired or had a lot on your mind. You could relax and enjoy yourself without having to consider someone else’s mood or preferences.
But your partner has become increasingly upset about how often you choose porn over sex with them. You’ve had arguments about it. They’ve told you how rejected and undesirable they feel, and they’re tired of hearing promises that things will change.
You’ve tried cutting back on porn and masturbating less often. Sometimes you followed through for several weeks, but eventually you returned to your previous habits. Meanwhile, sex with your partner became less frequent, and initiating began to feel increasingly unfamiliar.
Recently, your partner told you they’d stopped initiating because they were tired of being rejected.
You knew they were unhappy, but you hadn’t realized they’d begun protecting themselves from another rejection by no longer trying. Hearing that made you realize how much the situation had changed between you.
Now you’re scared they’ll decide they’ve had enough and leave the relationship.
You genuinely want to change your pornography use and masturbation habits, but your previous efforts haven’t lasted. You’re frustrated that you keep returning to those habits when you know how much your relationship means to you.
You need help understanding why this keeps happening and how to make changes that last, before the relationship deteriorates any further.
what we’ll do together
How I Help You Change Your Porn Habits and Rebuild Sexual Intimacy
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m both an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist. My training in both sexual health and relationships helps me understand why changing your porn habits hasn’t been enough to improve intimacy with your partner, and what else needs attention.
I’ll look at how pornography has become part of your sexual routine, what happens when you try to cut back, and what’s changed about your interest in sex with your partner. Once we understand how these things are connected, I can help you make changes that address the reasons your previous efforts haven’t lasted.
I’ll help you change what keeps drawing you back to porn, rather than simply asking you to watch less of it. If it’s become your preferred way of experiencing sexual pleasure, we’ll work on what makes partnered sex less appealing and how to change that. I’ll also help you respond differently when you want to watch porn, so you can follow through on your decision to cut back rather than returning to the same habits.
I’ll also help you rebuild sexual intimacy with your partner. We’ll address what has made initiating sex difficult, how to communicate your interest after repeated arguments and rejection, and how to begin creating sexual experiences you both want. Your partner’s feelings may not change immediately, so I’ll help you approach those conversations and attempts at intimacy without pressuring them to respond before they’re ready.
Between sessions, you’ll put what we’ve worked on into practice. We’ll talk about what’s changing and what’s still difficult. If something isn’t helping, I’ll work with you to understand why and make adjustments, so you’re not left repeating approaches that haven’t worked.
Learn more about my approach to sex therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior →
What I Can Help You Address in Sex Therapy
1. You can begin trusting yourself to follow through on decisions about sex and pornography.
In sex therapy, we’ll look at why previous attempts to change your sexual behavior haven’t lasted and identify opportunities to make different choices before changing course becomes especially difficult.
Together, we’ll develop a plan for those moments and examine what happens when you put it into practice, including what needs to change when something doesn’t go as expected.
You can begin building confidence in your ability to keep the commitments you make to yourself. Being home alone, having an unexpected free evening, or experiencing a strong sexual urge doesn’t have to mean repeating a behavior you’ve decided to stop. You can begin collecting evidence from your own experience that you’re capable of making different choices.
2. You can get your time and attention back instead of organizing your life around sexual behavior.
In sex therapy, we’ll examine how much time and attention sexual behavior has been taking from other parts of your life. That includes time spent anticipating the next opportunity, arranging your schedule, concealing what happened, or worrying about being discovered.
I’ll help you understand why certain situations make sexual thoughts particularly difficult to set aside. We’ll work on recognizing when you’re beginning to organize your time around the behavior and identifying what would help you make a different decision.
You can spend an evening alone doing what you intended, concentrate on work without repeatedly checking a site or app, and enjoy time with people you care about without thinking about when you’ll next have an opportunity for sexual activity. You can regain time and mental energy for the parts of your life you’ve been neglecting.
3. You can understand what you’re seeking from sexual behavior and find other ways to meet those needs.
In therapy, we’ll explore what you’re getting from sexual behavior that you haven’t been able to find elsewhere. It might be relief from stress, excitement, feeling wanted, or something you haven’t recognized yet.
I’ll help you understand what you’re feeling and wanting in those situations, including needs you’ve struggled to express or satisfy in other parts of your life. We’ll explore how you can meet those needs more directly, without repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior that conflicts with your intentions or creates unwanted consequences.
You can begin responding to loneliness, stress, rejection, boredom, or a desire for excitement in ways that genuinely address what you’re missing. You can have more choices about how to spend your time and meet your needs, rather than repeatedly turning to sexual activity and regretting it afterward.
4. You can stop organizing your life around secrets and begin earning back your partner’s trust.
If your sexual behavior has involved dishonesty or broken agreements, I’ll help you understand what taking responsibility requires. We’ll examine what makes honesty difficult, including fear of your partner’s reaction, shame about your choices, or the temptation to minimize what happened.
I’ll help you prepare for difficult conversations and learn how to answer questions truthfully, acknowledge the harm you’ve caused, and avoid making promises you aren’t prepared to keep. We’ll also discuss what consistent behavior and accountability can look like over time, recognizing that your partner may need considerable time before they feel comfortable trusting you again.
You can stop deleting conversations, concealing charges, inventing explanations, or worrying about what might happen if your partner picks up your phone. Instead, you can begin living more honestly and giving your partner reasons to believe what you say. You can feel better about how you’re treating the people who matter to you, even while rebuilding trust remains difficult.
5. You can enjoy your sexuality without feeling ashamed of your desires or afraid of losing control.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you examine your sexual desires and preferences without assuming that frequent sex, pornography, masturbation, or consensual sexual interests are inherently unhealthy.
We’ll distinguish between sexual desires you enjoy, behaviors you’ve decided you want to change, and feelings of shame or discomfort that may come from judgments you’ve learned about sexuality. We’ll also explore how to pursue sexual pleasure in ways that respect your values, your boundaries, and any agreements you’ve made with a partner.
If you’re partnered, we can address difficulties discussing sex, differences in desire, and concerns about intimacy. When appropriate and with your agreement, your partner may participate in some sessions.
You can feel more comfortable with your sexuality while becoming more confident in your ability to make deliberate choices. You can enjoy sexual pleasure without treating every desire as a problem, and make decisions about your behavior without repeatedly violating your own boundaries or relationship agreements.
What to Expect in Sex Therapy for Porn and Sex Addiction
Understand Your Sexual Behavior So You Can Change It
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about your sexual history, the behaviors you’re concerned about, and how they’ve affected your life. We’ll discuss what you’ve already tried to change, what happened when you tried, and what you want to be different.
I’ll also want to understand what makes the behavior so compelling for you. Maybe you’ve noticed that certain feelings or situations make it harder to resist a certain behavior. Or perhaps you keep making the same decisions even when you know exactly what the consequences could be.
I’ll help you examine what happens before, during, and after those experiences, including the choices you make long before you engage in the behavior. We’ll also explore your sexual desires, relationships, and experiences with sex to understand what may be contributing to the difficulty you’ve had changing.
My experience as an AASECT-certified sex therapist helps me recognize when sexual habits, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or conflicts about sexuality need different kinds of attention. That means our work can focus on what’s relevant to your situation rather than relying on the same advice you’ve already tried.
Make Changes That Work for You
Once we understand more about what’s happening, I’ll help you address the difficulties that have made changing your behavior so challenging.
That might involve working through shame that makes you reluctant to be honest, learning how to handle strong feelings without immediately turning to sexual activity, or addressing sexual dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll also identify opportunities to make different decisions before you reach the point where you typically return to the behavior. I’ll work with you on how to respond in those situations, and we’ll discuss what happens when you try those changes outside our sessions.
When something doesn’t go as planned, we’ll examine why. Rather than simply asking you to try harder, I’ll help you understand what happened and what needs to change in our approach.
Sex Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Adults and People in Open Relationships
I have extensive experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients and people in open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
I don’t assume that having multiple sexual partners, enjoying casual sex, using hookup apps, or having unconventional sexual interests means your sexual behavior is unhealthy.
What I want to understand is whether you’re able to make decisions about your sexual activity that are consistent with your intentions, your values, and the agreements you’ve made with partners.
If you’ve broken relationship agreements, we can address that honestly without treating your relationship structure or sexual identity as the problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
I’m an autistic therapist who also trains other mental health professionals in working with neurodivergent clients. My teaching includes autism and sexuality, ADHD and executive functioning, sexual and gender diversity, and adapting therapy to neurodivergent people’s needs.
If you’re autistic or have ADHD, I’ll consider how your attention, impulsivity, need for stimulation, routines, sensory experiences, and communication style may affect the sexual behavior you’re trying to change.
I’ll use my experience to develop approaches that fit how you think, communicate, and make decisions. These differences can be important when we’re figuring out why previous attempts haven’t worked and what approaches are likely to be useful for you.
Who is A good fit for Sex and Porn Addiction Therapy?
I work with adults whose pornography use or consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control and is causing problems in their lives. This can include people who are facing legal consequences related to their sexual behavior, such as an arrest for purchasing sex.
You may be a good fit for therapy with me if:
You’ve tried to stop watching porn, using hookup apps, paying for sex, or engaging in other sexual behaviors, but you keep returning to them.
You’re spending more time or money on sexual activity than you intended, and it’s beginning to interfere with your work, relationships, or other responsibilities.
Your partner has discovered sexual behavior you’ve been hiding, and you’re scared your relationship may not survive another broken promise.
You haven’t been caught, but you’re increasingly worried about what could happen if you continue.
You’re doing things you once told yourself you’d never do, and you’re concerned about where your behavior could lead.
Situations Outside My Clinical Practice
→ I don’t provide specialized treatment for sexual offenses, including sexual assault, rape, voyeurism, child sexual abuse, or offenses involving child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This includes situations where someone hasn’t been arrested or charged.
→ I also don’t provide forensic psychosexual evaluations or prepare reports for legal proceedings.
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist for Problematic Sexual Behavior
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and I’ve worked with individuals and couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior for decades.
Over the years, I’ve worked with people whose sexual behavior has put their relationships, careers, finances, or personal lives at risk. Many have tried repeatedly to stop on their own, sometimes keeping their behavior secret for years before deciding to get help.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I bring specialized training in human sexuality to understanding why changing sexual behavior can be so difficult. I’m interested in what makes certain experiences compelling, what keeps someone returning to them, and what needs to change for them to make different decisions.
I help clients understand why they keep returning to sexual behavior they want to change, address what has made previous attempts unsuccessful, and make decisions they can follow through on.
If the description on this page sounded like your situation, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with adult clients in Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline, and across Massachusetts.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex and porn addiction therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar by clicking the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you’ll receive new client forms via email, which you’ll review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Boston, Massachusetts
I’m independently licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW1144781). I provide individual sex and porn addiction therapy through secure, HIPAA-compliant video to adults throughout Boston and Greater Boston.
Communities I serve include:
Downtown and Central Boston: Back Bay, Beacon Hill, Bay Village, North End, West End, Chinatown, Leather District, Downtown Crossing, Financial District, Waterfront, and the Seaport District.
South Boston and Surrounding Neighborhoods: South Boston, Fort Point, South End, South Boston Waterfront, and the Ink Block area.
Fenway and Western Boston: Fenway, Kenmore, Longwood Medical Area, Mission Hill, Allston, and Brighton.
Jamaica Plain and Southern Boston: Jamaica Plain, Roslindale, West Roxbury, Hyde Park, and Mattapan.
Dorchester and Roxbury: Dorchester, Savin Hill, Fields Corner, Ashmont, Lower Mills, Neponset, Roxbury, and Nubian Square.
Charlestown and East Boston: Charlestown, East Boston, Jeffries Point, Eagle Hill, and Orient Heights.
Cambridge and Somerville: Harvard Square, Porter Square, Central Square, Kendall Square, Inman Square, Davis Square, Assembly Square, and Union Square.
Nearby Greater Boston communities: Brookline, Watertown, Belmont, Arlington, Medford, Malden, Everett, Chelsea, Revere, Winthrop, and Milton.
I also work with adults in Newton, Wellesley, and other Greater Boston suburbs.
All sessions take place online, so you can attend from home or another private location while physically located in Massachusetts.
Common Questions about therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior in Boston —
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Not necessarily. Pornography use can be part of the problem, but changes in sexual desire, relationship difficulties, stress, and other factors can also affect your interest in partnered sex.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you understand what’s contributing to the situation before deciding what needs to change. If reducing your pornography use is appropriate, we’ll work on that while also addressing what has made sexual intimacy with your partner difficult. The goal is to help you develop a sexual relationship you both find satisfying.
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Yes. You can begin individual sex therapy even if your partner doesn’t want to participate in treatment.
I’ll help you change the behavior you’re concerned about and work on how you approach sexual intimacy with your partner, including how to communicate your interest after repeated arguments and rejection.
Your partner’s feelings about what has happened deserve attention, too. I can help you approach those conversations more thoughtfully.
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Masturbation can become a familiar part of your daily routine, especially when it’s been your main way of experiencing sexual pleasure for a long time. Even when you want to make changes, you can find yourself returning to it without giving much thought to the decision.
I’ll help you understand what keeps bringing you back to that routine and why previous attempts to change it haven’t lasted. We’ll work on changing the habits that interfere with the sexual relationship you want, while also addressing what makes partnered intimacy more difficult.
Still Have Questions about therapy for Out-of-control sexual behavior?
Use the button below to send me a message. I will respond within 2 business days.