Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · AASECT Certified Sex Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Couples Therapy After Infidelity in Boston, Massachusetts
Online couples therapy after infidelity for Massachusetts couples in Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline, and surrounding communities
If you’re the partner who was betrayed…
Your partner told you about the affair. You asked questions, listened to their explanations, and tried to make sense of what happened. Maybe you even started to feel like you had enough information to begin rebuilding trust.
Then you learned something else.
Maybe the affair lasted longer than your partner initially admitted. Maybe there was more contact than they told you about, or you discovered that something they’d described as a one-time encounter happened more than once.
Now you’re questioning everything you thought you knew.
You may find yourself going back over conversations, comparing what your partner said before with what they’re telling you now. When you ask another question, you’re not necessarily looking for a different answer. You’re trying to figure out whether the answer you’re getting this time is one you can believe.
And even when your partner insists there’s nothing more to tell, how can you be sure? They’ve reassured you before, only for another detail to come out later.
Each new disclosure makes you question not only what you were told before, but whether there’s still more about the affair you don’t know.
You need the opportunity to make decisions about your relationship based on information you can trust.
In our work together, I’ll help you and your partner address what happens when information has been withheld or revealed in pieces. That includes helping your partner understand why these disclosures have damaged your trust, respond to your questions without becoming defensive, and take responsibility for being truthful even when the conversation is uncomfortable.
If you’re the unfaithful partner…
You’ve told your partner about the affair, but you haven’t told them everything. Maybe you were afraid that certain details would hurt them even more, or that knowing the full extent of what happened would make them decide to end the relationship.
So you left things out. Or you answered questions in ways that made the affair seem less serious than it was.
Now more information has come out, and your partner is questioning everything you’ve told them.
You may feel frustrated because you’ve already admitted to the affair, apologized, and made changes to show your commitment. But when your partner discovers something you previously withheld, those efforts can become harder for them to believe.
You might find yourself explaining why you didn’t tell them sooner, insisting that there’s nothing else to discover, or becoming defensive when they ask questions you feel you’ve already answered.
What you may not realize is that your partner is now trying to recover from both the affair and the experience of discovering that your account of it wasn’t complete.
In our work together, I’ll help you understand how withholding information affects your partner’s ability to trust you, even when your intention was to spare them additional pain. We’ll work on how to answer difficult questions honestly, take responsibility without becoming defensive, and respond to your partner’s uncertainty with patience rather than expecting reassurance to be accepted immediately.
Rebuilding trust requires more than admitting what happened. Your partner needs to see that you’re willing to be truthful, even when the truth is uncomfortable or has consequences you’d rather avoid.
hope after infidelity
When information about infidelity comes out in pieces, sometimes called “trickle truth,” each new disclosure can reopen the hurt and make it harder to believe what your partner tells you.
I’ll help the betrayed partner ask the questions they need answered and the unfaithful partner respond honestly, without becoming defensive, blaming their partner, or shutting down. When new details emerge during therapy, we’ll work through them together and address the additional hurt they’ve caused.
We’ll also establish what transparency and accountability need to look like in your relationship, so you can begin rebuilding trust through honest answers and consistent behavior over time.
How couples therapy can Change Your Relationship after infidelity
With Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW | Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist & AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist
When new details about infidelity keep emerging, you may begin to wonder whether you’ll ever feel confident in what your partner tells you. Even ordinary conversations can become difficult when you’re questioning whether important information is being withheld.
In our work together, I’ll help you address these concerns while developing the honesty, communication skills, and emotional connection you need to build a healthier relationship.
1. You can begin trusting what your partner tells you again.
In therapy, I’ll help you get answers to the questions that remain unresolved. When something your partner says contradicts an earlier explanation, we’ll address that directly. I’ll also help the unfaithful partner understand why answering consistently isn’t enough if important information is still being withheld, and take responsibility for being truthful even when an answer is uncomfortable.
You can begin feeling more confident that you have reliable information about what happened. As your partner becomes more forthcoming and their actions consistently match what they tell you, you can gradually feel more comfortable relying on their word again.
2. You can talk about the infidelity without every conversation turning into an argument.
Right now, a question about the infidelity can quickly lead to an argument. The betrayed partner may become upset when an answer contradicts something they were told before. The unfaithful partner may feel accused, become defensive, or withdraw from the conversation. You may both end up feeling hurt and frustrated, with little resolved.
In our sessions, I’ll help you slow these conversations down so each of you has an opportunity to explain what you’re feeling and hear what your partner is saying. I’ll help the betrayed partner ask difficult questions directly and the unfaithful partner respond without blaming, becoming defensive, or shutting down.
As you practice having these conversations differently, you can become more comfortable discussing difficult subjects at home. You’ll be better able to address concerns when they arise, understand each other’s reactions, and work through disagreements without creating additional hurt.
3. You can begin feeling emotionally close to each other again without wondering what’s still being kept from you.
In therapy, I’ll help you talk about what makes emotional closeness difficult right now. The betrayed partner can explain how incomplete disclosures have affected their willingness to be vulnerable, while the unfaithful partner learns to respond with patience and honesty rather than becoming defensive or expecting their reassurance to be accepted immediately.
We’ll also look at how to offer emotional support when painful questions or memories come up. I’ll help the unfaithful partner acknowledge the hurt caused by withholding information and stay emotionally engaged, even when their partner needs to revisit something they thought had already been addressed.
You can begin turning to each other for emotional support again, including when the infidelity is what’s causing the hurt. As your partner demonstrates greater honesty and becomes more comfortable discussing difficult feelings, you may find it easier to enjoy closeness without worrying that another disclosure will undermine it.
4. You can address problems in your relationship that existed before the infidelity.
You may feel tremendous shame about your decision to have an affair while also feeling angry about how your partner treated you. And you may worry that whenever you describe something hurtful they did, the conversation will return to your infidelity, and your complaints will never receive serious attention.
In therapy, I’ll help you express how your partner’s behavior hurt you, including things you may have struggled to communicate before the affair. I’ll help you explain what happened and how it affected you without suggesting that your partner was responsible for your decision to be unfaithful.
This makes it easier for your partner to hear what you’re saying without feeling blamed for the affair. They can begin to understand the impact of their behavior, take responsibility where they’ve hurt you, and offer meaningful apologies, even when you remember parts of your relationship differently.
You can receive genuine understanding and apologies for the pain you experienced, even though you were the partner who had the affair. You’ll also learn how to express dissatisfaction and painful feelings directly, rather than withdrawing, avoiding difficult conversations, or keeping your unhappiness secret.
5. You can feel more comfortable with sexual intimacy as you recover from infidelity.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you discuss how infidelity has affected your sexual relationship, including the questions and feelings that arise during intimacy. We’ll talk about what each of you feels comfortable with, how to communicate desire or boundaries, and how to respond when one of you wants physical closeness but the other doesn’t.
We can also address sexual concerns or differences in desire that existed before the affair, once we’ve begun repairing the betrayal.
Whether you’ve continued having sex or stopped, you can begin feeling more comfortable expressing what you want and what you’re not ready for. You’ll have a better understanding of each other’s needs and how to enjoy physical and sexual closeness without pressure.
How affair recovery works
How I help Boston Couples Recover from Infidelity, betrayal, and Affairs
When you come to couples therapy because of an affair, we won’t spend months discussing older relationship problems before addressing the betrayal. After our initial three-session assessment, we’ll begin working directly on the affair, the questions that still need answers, and the hurt it’s caused.
There’s a clinical reason for starting here, too. The betrayal affects how you hear and respond to each other, even when you’re discussing problems that have nothing to do with the affair. A conversation about feeling lonely or unheard before the affair may sound to the betrayed partner like an attempt to justify what happened or blame them for their partner’s decision. Meanwhile, the unfaithful partner may become defensive or withdraw when those conversations bring up feelings of guilt or shame.
By addressing the betrayal first, I can help you begin rebuilding enough trust to discuss those older problems without every conversation becoming another argument about the affair. We can then examine what wasn’t working in your relationship while keeping responsibility for the infidelity where it belongs.
The process follows four steps:
A three-session assessment. I meet with you together and individually, and you’ll complete detailed questionnaires that help me understand your relationship and identify where we need to focus.
Repairing the betrayal. I’ll help the betrayed partner get answers to their questions and the unfaithful partner learn to respond honestly, without becoming defensive or withdrawing.
Addressing older relationship hurts. Once we’ve begun repairing the betrayal, we’ll work on unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, and difficulties communicating that may have existed before the affair.
Rebuilding your sexual relationship. We’ll give your sexual relationship more focused attention after addressing the betrayal and older hurts. Whether you’ve continued having sex or stopped after the affair, I’ll help you talk about desire, intimacy, and what each of you needs to feel comfortable.
Throughout the process, I’ll help you develop the skills to have difficult conversations outside of therapy, so you can eventually address problems together without needing me to guide every discussion.
Read more about the full process I take couples through after infidelity here →
Who is a Good Fit for this Service?
Couples therapy after infidelity is for couples who both want to repair their relationship and are willing to put time and effort into rebuilding trust.
The infidelity must have ended before we begin working together. I don’t work with couples while an affair is still ongoing.
I work with couples recovering from many forms of infidelity, including physical and emotional affairs, secret online relationships, sexting, paying for sex, and broken agreements in open or non-monogamous relationships.
I also welcome LGBTQIA+ couples and couples where one or both partners is neurodivergent.
If there’s ongoing domestic violence in your relationship, couples therapy may not be a safe place to begin. Individual support and safety planning may be more appropriate before considering work together.
Infidelity therapist & certified Gottman method couples therapist
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and affair recovery has been a central part of my couples practice for more than two decades.
An affair is a crisis, and most couples who come to me have already spent months trying to resolve it on their own, leaving them feeling even more disconnected.
Infidelity creates a specific communication breakdown that good intentions alone often can’t fix. The betrayed partner may need to talk about what happened to process the betrayal, while the unfaithful partner may shut down out of guilt, shame, or defensiveness.
When couples try to resolve the damage caused by the affair without outside help, those conversations can reinforce the same difficulties rather than resolve them. I provide a research-supported, structured approach to helping couples repair their relationship after infidelity.
If the description on this page sounded like your relationship, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online couples therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with couples throughout Boston, Cambridge, Brookline, and the surrounding Massachusetts communities.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. Extended sessions (3+ hours) are available for couples who want to make faster progress.
I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in couples therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar using the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you and your partner will receive new client forms via email, which you’ll both review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Boston, Massachusetts
I’m independently licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW1144781), and I provide online couples therapy after infidelity throughout Boston and the surrounding communities.
This includes:
Boston neighborhoods: Back Bay, Beacon Hill, South End, South Boston, Dorchester, Jamaica Plain, Charlestown, East Boston, Roslindale, West Roxbury, Hyde Park, Allston, Brighton, Fenway, Mission Hill, Roxbury, Mattapan, North End, West End, and Downtown.
Cambridge and Somerville: Including Harvard Square, Central Square, Porter Square, Davis Square, and Union Square.
Nearby communities: Brookline, Medford, Malden, Everett, Chelsea, Revere, Watertown, Arlington, Belmont, Melrose, Winthrop, Milton, Dedham, and Woburn.
For couples in communities west of Boston, I also offer online couples therapy after infidelity in Newton and Wellesley.
Common Questions about couples therapy after infidelity in Boston —
-
When your partner reveals something they previously withheld, it can make you question everything else they’ve told you. Even if they insist there’s nothing more to disclose, you may have heard that reassurance before.
In couples therapy, I’ll help your partner understand why these repeated disclosures have damaged your trust and why it’s important to stop withholding information, even when the truth is difficult to discuss. I’ll help you get clear answers, address inconsistencies, and work through the additional hurt caused by learning that you didn’t have the full story.
-
Yes. You can attend together from the same location or join separately. You’ll each use the same secure video link.
The important things are that both of you have a private space where you can speak openly without being overheard, and a reliable internet connection.
-
Not necessarily. I’m licensed to provide therapy in Massachusetts, New York, Oregon, Washington, and Florida. Each partner must be physically located in one of these five states during our sessions, but you don’t have to be in the same state.
If either of you will be traveling somewhere else, please contact me before your appointment so we can discuss your options.
Still Have Questions about Couples Therapy for Infidelity?
Contact me using the button below. I’ll respond within 2 business days.