AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist · Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Individual Therapy for Sex and Porn Addiction on the South Shore of Massachusetts
Online Sex Therapy for Massachusetts Adults in Hingham, Cohasset, Scituate, Duxbury, and Marshfield
Specialized Sex Therapy on the South Shore of Massachusetts
Your partner recently told you they want to separate because you’ve broken another promise to stop watching porn.
You’ve had this argument before. Your partner discovers that you’ve been watching pornography, you promise to stop, and for a while, you do. But eventually you start watching again, telling yourself that as long as they don’t find out, it won’t cause another argument.
This time, your partner isn’t interested in another promise. They’re talking about living separately, and you’re beginning to realize they may be serious about ending the relationship.
You love your partner and don’t want to lose them. But part of you also feels resentful. You haven’t had an affair or pursued anyone else, and sometimes you think your partner is making too much of something you’ve always considered a private activity.
At the same time, you know the problem has become bigger than a disagreement about pornography. You’ve repeatedly agreed to stop, hidden what you were doing, and denied it when your partner became suspicious.
Your partner has told you they’re exhausted by the dishonesty. They don’t want to keep checking whether you’re telling the truth, and they don’t believe another promise will change anything.
You’re frustrated by your own behavior, too. Sometimes you genuinely wanted to stop watching porn but couldn’t maintain the change. Other times, you promised to stop because you wanted to end the argument, even though you weren’t sure you wanted to give up pornography. You’re beginning to recognize that you haven’t always been honest with yourself about whether you intended to keep those promises.
Now your relationship may be ending. You want your partner to stay, but you’re afraid that admitting you still enjoy pornography will convince them you’ll never change. And you’re worried that even if they give you another chance, you’ll eventually break another promise.
You need help understanding why your attempts to change haven’t lasted, making honest decisions about your pornography use, and following through on commitments you’re prepared to keep.
what we’ll do together
How I Help You Change Your Porn Habits
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m both an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist. My experience with sexual behavior and relationships helps me address both your difficulty changing your pornography habits and the damage that repeated dishonesty has caused between you and your partner.
We’ll begin by understanding why your previous attempts to stop watching pornography haven’t lasted, including the times you genuinely wanted to change and the times you agreed to stop because you wanted an argument to end. I’ll work with you to address that ambivalence, so you can make informed decisions about what you’re willing to change rather than continuing to make promises you’re uncertain you can keep.
Once we’ve established what you want to change, we’ll focus on following through. That means addressing what keeps drawing you back to pornography, learning to respond differently when you want to watch it, and maintaining your decisions when the immediate fear of losing your relationship becomes less intense.
We’ll also address the dishonesty and broken agreements without turning your partner’s objections into another argument about whether pornography is acceptable. I’ll work with you on acknowledging the consequences of your decisions, communicating honestly about what you’re prepared to do, and responding to your partner’s distrust without becoming defensive. Your partner may still decide to separate, but you can begin making changes that reflect genuine accountability.
Between sessions, you’ll put those changes into practice. We’ll review how you’re following through on your decisions and handling difficult conversations at home. If something isn’t working, we’ll examine why and adjust our approach so the changes you make are sustainable.
Learn more about my approach to sex therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior →
What I Can Help You Address in Sex Therapy
1. You can begin trusting yourself to follow through on decisions about sex and pornography.
In sex therapy, we’ll look at why previous attempts to change your sexual behavior haven’t lasted and identify opportunities to make different choices before changing course becomes especially difficult.
Together, we’ll develop a plan for those moments and examine what happens when you put it into practice, including what needs to change when something doesn’t go as expected.
You can begin building confidence in your ability to keep the commitments you make to yourself. Being home alone, having an unexpected free evening, or experiencing a strong sexual urge doesn’t have to mean repeating a behavior you’ve decided to stop. You can begin collecting evidence from your own experience that you’re capable of making different choices.
2. You can get your time and attention back instead of organizing your life around sexual behavior.
In sex therapy, we’ll examine how much time and attention sexual behavior has been taking from other parts of your life. That includes time spent anticipating the next opportunity, arranging your schedule, concealing what happened, or worrying about being discovered.
I’ll help you understand why certain situations make sexual thoughts particularly difficult to set aside. We’ll work on recognizing when you’re beginning to organize your time around the behavior and identifying what would help you make a different decision.
You can spend an evening alone doing what you intended, concentrate on work without repeatedly checking a site or app, and enjoy time with people you care about without thinking about when you’ll next have an opportunity for sexual activity. You can regain time and mental energy for the parts of your life you’ve been neglecting.
3. You can understand what you’re seeking from sexual behavior and find other ways to meet those needs.
In therapy, we’ll explore what you’re getting from sexual behavior that you haven’t been able to find elsewhere. It might be relief from stress, excitement, feeling wanted, or something you haven’t recognized yet.
I’ll help you understand what you’re feeling and wanting in those situations, including needs you’ve struggled to express or satisfy in other parts of your life. We’ll explore how you can meet those needs more directly, without repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior that conflicts with your intentions or creates unwanted consequences.
You can begin responding to loneliness, stress, rejection, boredom, or a desire for excitement in ways that genuinely address what you’re missing. You can have more choices about how to spend your time and meet your needs, rather than repeatedly turning to sexual activity and regretting it afterward.
4. You can stop organizing your life around secrets and begin earning back your partner’s trust.
If your sexual behavior has involved dishonesty or broken agreements, I’ll help you understand what taking responsibility requires. We’ll examine what makes honesty difficult, including fear of your partner’s reaction, shame about your choices, or the temptation to minimize what happened.
I’ll help you prepare for difficult conversations and learn how to answer questions truthfully, acknowledge the harm you’ve caused, and avoid making promises you aren’t prepared to keep. We’ll also discuss what consistent behavior and accountability can look like over time, recognizing that your partner may need considerable time before they feel comfortable trusting you again.
You can stop deleting conversations, concealing charges, inventing explanations, or worrying about what might happen if your partner picks up your phone. Instead, you can begin living more honestly and giving your partner reasons to believe what you say. You can feel better about how you’re treating the people who matter to you, even while rebuilding trust remains difficult.
5. You can enjoy your sexuality without feeling ashamed of your desires or afraid of losing control.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you examine your sexual desires and preferences without assuming that frequent sex, pornography, masturbation, or consensual sexual interests are inherently unhealthy.
We’ll distinguish between sexual desires you enjoy, behaviors you’ve decided you want to change, and feelings of shame or discomfort that may come from judgments you’ve learned about sexuality. We’ll also explore how to pursue sexual pleasure in ways that respect your values, your boundaries, and any agreements you’ve made with a partner.
If you’re partnered, we can address difficulties discussing sex, differences in desire, and concerns about intimacy. When appropriate and with your agreement, your partner may participate in some sessions.
You can feel more comfortable with your sexuality while becoming more confident in your ability to make deliberate choices. You can enjoy sexual pleasure without treating every desire as a problem, and make decisions about your behavior without repeatedly violating your own boundaries or relationship agreements.
What to Expect in Sex Therapy for Porn and Sex Addiction
Understand Your Sexual Behavior So You Can Change It
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about your sexual history, the behaviors you’re concerned about, and how they’ve affected your life. We’ll discuss what you’ve already tried to change, what happened when you tried, and what you want to be different.
I’ll also want to understand what makes the behavior so compelling for you. Maybe you’ve noticed that certain feelings or situations make it harder to resist a certain behavior. Or perhaps you keep making the same decisions even when you know exactly what the consequences could be.
I’ll help you examine what happens before, during, and after those experiences, including the choices you make long before you engage in the behavior. We’ll also explore your sexual desires, relationships, and experiences with sex to understand what may be contributing to the difficulty you’ve had changing.
My experience as an AASECT-certified sex therapist helps me recognize when sexual habits, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or conflicts about sexuality need different kinds of attention. That means our work can focus on what’s relevant to your situation rather than relying on the same advice you’ve already tried.
Make Changes That Work for You
Once we understand more about what’s happening, I’ll help you address the difficulties that have made changing your behavior so challenging.
That might involve working through shame that makes you reluctant to be honest, learning how to handle strong feelings without immediately turning to sexual activity, or addressing sexual dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll also identify opportunities to make different decisions before you reach the point where you typically return to the behavior. I’ll work with you on how to respond in those situations, and we’ll discuss what happens when you try those changes outside our sessions.
When something doesn’t go as planned, we’ll examine why. Rather than simply asking you to try harder, I’ll help you understand what happened and what needs to change in our approach.
Sex Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Adults and People in Open Relationships
I have extensive experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients and people in open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
I don’t assume that having multiple sexual partners, enjoying casual sex, using hookup apps, or having unconventional sexual interests means your sexual behavior is unhealthy.
What I want to understand is whether you’re able to make decisions about your sexual activity that are consistent with your intentions, your values, and the agreements you’ve made with partners.
If you’ve broken relationship agreements, we can address that honestly without treating your relationship structure or sexual identity as the problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
I’m an autistic therapist who also trains other mental health professionals in working with neurodivergent clients. My teaching includes autism and sexuality, ADHD and executive functioning, sexual and gender diversity, and adapting therapy to neurodivergent people’s needs.
If you’re autistic or have ADHD, I’ll consider how your attention, impulsivity, need for stimulation, routines, sensory experiences, and communication style may affect the sexual behavior you’re trying to change.
I’ll use my experience to develop approaches that fit how you think, communicate, and make decisions. These differences can be important when we’re figuring out why previous attempts haven’t worked and what approaches are likely to be useful for you.
Who is A good fit for Sex and Porn Addiction Therapy?
I work with adults whose pornography use or consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control and is causing problems in their lives. This can include people who are facing legal consequences related to their sexual behavior, such as an arrest for purchasing sex.
You may be a good fit for therapy with me if:
You’ve tried to stop watching porn, using hookup apps, paying for sex, or engaging in other sexual behaviors, but you keep returning to them.
You’re spending more time or money on sexual activity than you intended, and it’s beginning to interfere with your work, relationships, or other responsibilities.
Your partner has discovered sexual behavior you’ve been hiding, and you’re scared your relationship may not survive another broken promise.
You haven’t been caught, but you’re increasingly worried about what could happen if you continue.
You’re doing things you once told yourself you’d never do, and you’re concerned about where your behavior could lead.
Situations Outside My Clinical Practice
→ I don’t provide specialized treatment for sexual offenses, including sexual assault, rape, voyeurism, child sexual abuse, or offenses involving child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This includes situations where someone hasn’t been arrested or charged.
→ I also don’t provide forensic psychosexual evaluations or prepare reports for legal proceedings.
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist for Problematic Sexual Behavior
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and I’ve worked with individuals and couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior for decades.
Over the years, I’ve worked with people whose sexual behavior has put their relationships, careers, finances, or personal lives at risk. Many have tried repeatedly to stop on their own, sometimes keeping their behavior secret for years before deciding to get help.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I bring specialized training in human sexuality to understanding why changing sexual behavior can be so difficult. I’m interested in what makes certain experiences compelling, what keeps someone returning to them, and what needs to change for them to make different decisions.
I help clients understand why they keep returning to sexual behavior they want to change, address what has made previous attempts unsuccessful, and make decisions they can follow through on.
If the description on this page sounded like your situation, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with adult clients in the South Shore of Massachusetts.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex and porn addiction therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar by clicking the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you’ll receive new client forms via email, which you’ll review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served on the South Shore of Massachusetts
I’m independently licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW1144781).
I provide individual sex and porn addiction therapy through secure, HIPAA-compliant video to adults throughout the South Shore and surrounding communities.
Areas I serve include:
Quincy and the northern South Shore: Quincy, Braintree, Weymouth, Milton, Randolph, and Holbrook.
Hingham and the coastal communities: Hingham, Hull, Cohasset, Scituate, Marshfield, and Duxbury.
Central South Shore: Norwell, Hanover, Rockland, Pembroke, Abington, Hanson, and Whitman.
Plymouth and surrounding communities: Plymouth, Kingston, Plympton, Halifax, and Carver.
I also work with adults throughout Greater Boston and across Massachusetts. All sessions take place online, so you can attend from home or another private location while physically located in Massachusetts.
Common Questions about therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior on the South Shore —
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Yes. Previous unsuccessful attempts to stop don’t mean you’re incapable of changing your pornography habits. They do suggest that repeating the same approach may not be enough.
In therapy, we’ll examine what has made those changes difficult to maintain and address what keeps drawing you back to pornography. You’ll learn to respond differently when you want to watch, so you can follow through on your decisions rather than relying on another promise to stop.
We’ll also pay attention to what happens when your initial motivation fades. If you’re struggling to maintain the changes you’ve made, we’ll examine why and adjust our approach.
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Yes. You can begin changing your sexual behavior and addressing the dishonesty even if your partner hasn’t decided whether to stay.
Our sessions will focus on taking responsibility for the broken agreements and understanding what your partner may need to see before they’re willing to reconsider the relationship. We’ll also address how to respond when your partner remains angry or distrustful, without making another promise simply to persuade them to stay.
I can’t determine whether your partner will choose to continue the relationship, but you can begin making changes regardless of their decision.
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Rebuilding trust usually requires more than stopping the behavior. Your partner needs to know that you’re being honest, including when a conversation is uncomfortable or they ask questions you’d rather avoid.
We’ll work on taking responsibility for the dishonesty, understanding what your partner needs to feel reassured, and following through on agreements that demonstrate your commitment to changing. That may include transparency or verification arrangements so your partner doesn’t have to rely solely on your word.
Trust may take time to rebuild, and your partner will decide what they’re willing to accept. But you can begin showing them through your actions that you’re taking their concerns seriously.
Still Have Questions about therapy for Out-of-control sexual behavior?
Use the button below to send me a message. I will respond within 2 business days.