Couples Therapy for Mismatched Sexual Desire & Desire Discrepancy ● AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist ● Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Sex Therapy for Florida Couples with Differences in Sexual Desire
Online Sex Therapy for Couples Throughout Florida
Sex Therapy for desire Differences in Your Relationship
You love your partner, and you know they love you. But your sexual relationship has changed so much that you’ve started wondering whether they still find you attractive.
You used to feel confident that your partner wanted you sexually. Now, you’re usually the one expressing interest, and you rarely get a clear sense that they’re interested in having sex with you.
You’ve tried initiating differently, planning evenings alone together, and giving your partner more space to see whether they’ll express interest on their own. But you’re still waiting for signs that they want you sexually without your having to ask.
Your partner tells you they still love you and find you attractive. You want to believe them. But when weeks pass without much sexual interest, those reassurances become harder to reconcile with your experience.
You’ve begun paying attention to things you never used to question. When you’re sexual together, are they genuinely enjoying themselves? Do they ever think about having sex with you when you haven’t brought it up first?
For the partner who wants less sex, the experience is different. You tell your partner you’re still attracted to them, but that attraction doesn’t always translate into wanting sex. You enjoy being close to them and love your relationship, yet you don’t want sex as often as they do.
You may be trying to understand that difference yourself. Perhaps sex hasn’t felt as enjoyable lately, your interest has changed with stress or health concerns, or you’re unsure what would make intimacy more appealing. You want to explore those questions without every conversation returning to whether you’re attracted to your partner.
Conversations about sex have become difficult. One of you wants to experience sexual interest from your partner. The other wants to understand their own desire and enjoy intimacy again. You both want a satisfying sex life, but you haven’t figured out what needs to change.
You want to understand why your sexual desires differ, enjoy intimacy that both of you genuinely want, and feel confident that attraction and sexual pleasure can remain part of your relationship.
Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW | AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist & Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist
I’ve helped couples with sexual desire discrepancy for more than fifteen years.
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m both an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist. I help couples throughout Florida understand why their sexual desires differ and develop a sexual relationship that feels satisfying to both partners.
During our sessions, I’ll assess when your difference in desire developed, what your sexual relationship was like before things changed, and how each of you experiences attraction, arousal, and sexual pleasure. I’ll also examine factors such as medications, health changes, stress, and dissatisfaction with your sexual experiences. This helps us identify what needs attention rather than assuming that less frequent sexual interest means less attraction.
For the partner who wants more sex, I’ll help you get a clearer understanding of what your partner’s lower level of sexual interest means in your particular relationship. That includes distinguishing changes in attraction from difficulties with arousal, pleasure, or desire. Together, we’ll address what we discover so you’re no longer left guessing about your partner’s experience or assuming that sexual frequency tells the whole story.
For the partner who wants less sex, I’ll use what we learn during the assessment to address the specific difficulties affecting your sexual interest. If sex has become less pleasurable, we’ll examine what’s changed and identify appropriate ways to improve your experiences. If physical discomfort, medication, or other health concerns are contributing, I’ll help you understand how those issues affect your sex life and coordinate with medical professionals when appropriate. When relationship difficulties are involved, we’ll address those as part of treatment.
I’ll also draw on my couples therapy training to address the conflict and hurt feelings that have developed around sex and attraction. I’ll help each of you understand why those conversations have become so difficult, address unresolved concerns, and develop ways to discuss sexual needs that leave both partners feeling understood. This allows us to address the relationship difficulties that may be making your sexual differences harder to resolve.
How your relationship changes after sex therapy with me
You can build a sexual relationship in which both of you feel wanted, enjoy the intimacy you share, and trust each other’s expressions of attraction and desire.
You Can Feel Genuinely Sexually Desired by Your Partner
You experience your partner’s attraction in ways that feel meaningful and convincing to you. You recognize their genuine interest in being sexual together and enjoy knowing that the attraction between you is mutual.
When you’re intimate, you can appreciate your partner’s pleasure and enthusiasm, knowing they’re sharing the experience because they want to.
You feel sexually wanted by the person you love, with greater confidence in the attraction you share.
You Can Enjoy Sex That’s Pleasurable for Both of You
Your sexual experiences reflect what each of you enjoys. You can become absorbed in the pleasure of being together, knowing that your partner is enjoying themselves, too.
There’s room for different preferences, different ways of experiencing arousal, and the kinds of intimacy that feel satisfying to both partners.
You’re sharing sexual experiences that you both genuinely want, with opportunities for pleasure and closeness that reflect your individual needs.
You Can Enjoy Affection Without It Having to Lead to Sex
You can kiss your partner, hold them close, or enjoy a lingering touch because you want that affection.
You feel comfortable showing attraction even when you’re not interested in having sex, and your partner can enjoy those moments without needing them to develop into something more.
Physical closeness becomes an enjoyable part of your everyday relationship, with room for affection, flirtation, and sexual interest on terms that feel comfortable to both of you.
You Can Trust Each Other’s Sexual Honesty
When your partner tells you they’re attracted to you, you understand what that means for them. When they express interest in sex, you can trust that they genuinely want the experience.
Both of you feel comfortable being honest about your sexual interest, including when your desires differ. You can talk about changes in attraction, pleasure, or sexual needs and take each other’s answers seriously.
You have confidence in what your partner shares with you, allowing sexual intimacy to feel more relaxed, open, and mutually satisfying.
Read more about my approach to treating sexual desire discrepancy in sex therapy →
Who is a good fit for sex therapy for Couples with desire discrepancy?
Sex therapy for desire discrepancy works best when both partners attend sessions and both want a more satisfying sex life together.
You don’t have to agree on what caused the desire gap or feel equally motivated to close it. You only need to be willing to try.
I also work with couples where one or both partners are autistic and/or have ADHD, and LGBTQIA+ and polyamorous or open-relationship couples and individuals, since standard sex therapy frameworks were built on neurotypical, heterosexual, monogamous, cisgendered assumptions that don’t fit every relationship.
If there’s ongoing domestic violence in your relationship, sex therapy isn’t the right starting place; individual therapy is safer.
A certified sex therapist and couples therapist with more than 15 years treating differences in sexual desire
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and for more than 15 years, I’ve helped couples whose differences in sexual desire have become a source of frustration, hurt, or uncertainty about their relationship.
As both an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist, I bring two areas of specialized training to your treatment. I can assess how sexual desire, arousal, physical health, sexual satisfaction, and relationship difficulties influence one another, including concerns that aren’t immediately obvious to either partner.
Couples can spend years trying to improve their sexual relationship without understanding why their desires differ. I’ll help you identify what’s contributing to the problem and address those issues so you can build a sexual relationship that feels satisfying to both of you.
If the description on this page sounded like your relationship, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online sex therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with couples across Florida.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. Extended sessions (3+ hours) are available for couples who want to make faster progress.
I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to schedule your first sex therapy session
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar using the button below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you and your partner will receive new client forms via email, which you’ll both review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Florida
I’m registered as an Out-of-State Telehealth Provider with the Florida Department of Health (registration #TPSW16), which allows me to provide online sex therapy for couples with differences in sexual desire through secure, HIPAA-compliant video throughout Florida.
This includes:
Northeast Florida, including Jacksonville, Palm Coast, Daytona Beach, and St. Augustine
North Florida and the Panhandle, including Tallahassee, Gainesville, Pensacola, and Panama City
Central Florida, including Orlando, Kissimmee, Melbourne, Palm Bay, Ocala, Winter Garden, Sanford, Apopka, Titusville, Winter Haven, Lakeland, Deltona, Ocoee, and Altamonte Springs
Tampa Bay, including Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Sarasota, Bradenton, Largo, and Spring Hill
Southwest Florida, including Fort Myers, Cape Coral, Naples, Port Charlotte, and Bonita Springs
South Florida and the Treasure Coast, including Miami, Fort Lauderdale, West Palm Beach, Boca Raton, Hollywood, Hialeah, Port St. Lucie, Pembroke Pines, Miramar, Coral Springs, Miami Gardens, Davie, Sunrise, Plantation, Boynton Beach, Deerfield Beach, Homestead, Doral, Weston, Delray Beach, Wellington, North Miami, Coconut Creek, and Fort Pierce
If you’re anywhere in Florida, I can work with you online.
Questions About Sex Therapy for Florida Couples with Desire Discrepancy
Frequently asked questions —
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Yes. Florida law requires that you’re both physically located in the state each time we meet by video.
I am also licensed to practice in Oregon, Washington, New York, and Massachusetts.
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For couples sex therapy, I work with both partners because each person’s experience of desire, attraction, and sexual intimacy is important to understanding what’s happening in your relationship.
You don’t need to agree about how often you should have sex or even what you believe is causing the difference before starting therapy. I’ll assess each partner’s concerns and help you establish treatment goals that take both of your needs seriously.
If one partner is unwilling to participate, we can discuss whether individual sex therapy would be a more appropriate starting point.
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Many couples I see developed a desire gap after a life change, such as a new baby, a change in work responsibilities, or a health diagnosis. Others have had a desire gap since the start of the relationship. Sex therapy can help in both cases.
Still have Questions about sex therapy for desire discrepancy?
Please contact me using the button below. I will respond within 2 business days.