Couples Therapy for Mismatched Sexual Desire & Desire Discrepancy ● AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist ● Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Sex Therapy for Miami Couples with Differences in Sexual Desire
Online sex therapy for Florida couples in Miami, Miami Beach, Coral Gables, and across Miami-Dade County
Sex Therapy for Miami couples who want to resolve the difference in Sexual desire
You and your partner like the life you’ve built together. You both work long days, and you still look forward to dinner together at the end of the week. But one of you wants sex more often than the other does, and both of you want to resolve the difference in sexual desire. Neither of you knows how.
You’ve tried a few ideas on your own. A date night helped for a week or two, and so did a book about desire that one of you read and passed along. Then the busy weeks came back, and so did the difference in how often each of you wants sex.
If you’re the partner who wants less sex, you feel pressured whenever sex comes up, even when your partner asks kindly. You want to enjoy sex again, and you’re frustrated that every talk about sex turns into a talk about how often.
If you’re the partner who wants more sex, you’re frustrated, too. You’ve asked for sex directly, you’ve hinted, and you’ve waited for your partner to bring up sex, but the two of you still have sex less often than you’d like. You don’t want to pressure your partner, but you don’t know what else to try.
Your workdays make the conversation harder. By the time both of you get home, the only time left to talk about sex is late at night, when both of you are tired, and the talk ends without resolution. When one of you cancels a planned date night to meet a work deadline, each of you feels the difference in sexual desire a little more.
You still enjoy each other’s company. On a Sunday morning, the two of you walk through the gardens at Vizcaya in Coconut Grove. Then you stand together on the terrace above Biscayne Bay and plan next year’s vacation.
At home that night, one of you brings up sex while the two of you get ready for bed. The other partner says, “Not tonight. I have an early meeting,” and the partner who asked sighs and turns off the light, disappointed again. The partner who said no lies awake for a while, tired of hearing the same question at the end of a long day.
Desire discrepancy is the clinical name for an ongoing difference in how much sex two partners want.
Both of you want to resolve the difference in sexual desire, so the two of you already agree on the goal. There’s hope. With sex therapy, many couples learn what helps each partner and start enjoying sex together again, and the two of you can, too.
Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW | AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist & Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist
I help Miami couples resolve a difference in sexual desire and start enjoying sex together again.
For more than fifteen years, I’ve helped couples understand what’s contributing to their differences in sexual desire and address the difficulties affecting their sexual relationship.
When the two of you can’t resolve a difference in sexual desire on your own, you end up feeling less close during the rest of the day, which is why my training addresses both sex and your relationship.
As a sex therapist certified by AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, I treat low desire, mismatched desire, and other problems with sex itself. As a certified Gottman Method couples therapist, I help partners support each other through everyday stress, using an approach built on research with couples. I also train other therapists, as an AASECT Approved Supervisor and a Gottman Method trainer.
I see the two of you together during sex therapy sessions because changes in how you approach sex have to work for each partner.
In our sessions, the partner who wants less sex can explain what makes sex feel like pressure, and the partner who wants more sex can explain how hearing no has felt after months of trying new ideas.
I’ll also assess what’s contributing to the difference in desire, including concerns involving sexual arousal, pleasure, physical health, stress, and your relationship. I’ll use what we discover to recommend treatment that addresses the difficulties both of you are experiencing.
Here’s what you can expect from me as your sex therapist:
We talk about sex directly, in plain words, and sex stays at the center of our sessions.
I’ll select interventions based on what we learn during your assessment. That may include addressing concerns about arousal or sexual enjoyment, working on relationship difficulties, or using structured touch exercises when appropriate. We’ll choose an approach that respects both partners’ comfort and sexual interests.
I take both of your experiences seriously, whether you’re the partner who wants more sex or the partner who wants less. The partner who wants more sex won’t be told that wanting sex is the problem, and the partner who wants less sex won’t be asked to say yes when they don’t want to. Together, we work toward sex you both look forward to.
We meet by secure video, and you’ll both need to be in Florida during each session.
How your relationship changes after sex therapy with me
Without the right intervention, the distance between you can grow. The more late-night conversations about sex end without resolution, the harder the next conversation can feel.
In our sessions, I ask each of you what you’ve tried so far and what happened. While one of you talks, I help the other partner listen without getting defensive or shutting down.
Many couples learn that both partners want sex to feel easier: one of you wants sex without feeling pressured, and the other wants sex without having to ask so often.
After assessing what’s contributing to your differences in desire, I’ll recommend interventions that address the concerns we identify. If pressure around physical affection is part of the problem, we may use structured touch exercises. If difficulties with arousal, sexual satisfaction, or other concerns need attention, I’ll address those as part of treatment.
Because your conversations about sex have often happened late at night, I may also help you find a better time to discuss your sexual relationship, when both of you have the energy to listen and respond thoughtfully.
After each session, you take home one specific step. At our next session, we talk about how the week went, and if a step went badly, I help you work out what got in the way and change the plan.
If you’re the partner who wants more sex, you stop guessing what might help, because the two of you have agreed on what comes next. You can bring up sex in the way the two of you agreed on, and when your partner says no, you understand the reason and you no longer feel rejected and let down.
You can enjoy sexual experiences that feel genuinely wanted and satisfying to both of you, with a better understanding of what makes intimacy pleasurable for your partner.
If you’re the partner who wants less sex, you stop feeling pressured when sex comes up, because the two of you talk about sex at times you’ve both chosen. You learn what helps you get in the mood for sex, such as an evening when neither of you checks work email, or a slow kiss that doesn’t have expectations attached.
You can say yes when you want sex and no when you don’t. You can enjoy sexual intimacy that reflects your own interests and pleasure, without feeling responsible for wanting sex more often than you do.
Over time, conversations about sex feel easier for both of you, and the tense late-night talks become rare. On some Sunday mornings, after a walk at Vizcaya, the two of you go home and spend the rest of the morning in bed together.
Who is a good fit for sex therapy for Couples with desire discrepancy?
Sex therapy for desire discrepancy works best when both partners attend sessions and both want a more satisfying sex life together.
You don’t have to agree on what caused the desire gap or feel equally motivated to close it. You only need to be willing to try.
I also work with couples where one or both partners are autistic and/or have ADHD, and LGBTQIA+ and polyamorous or open-relationship couples and individuals, since standard sex therapy frameworks were built on neurotypical, heterosexual, monogamous, cisgendered assumptions that don’t fit every relationship.
If there’s ongoing domestic violence in your relationship, sex therapy isn’t the right starting place; individual therapy is safer.
A certified sex therapist and couples therapist with more than 15 years treating differences in sexual desire
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and for more than 15 years, I’ve helped couples whose differences in sexual desire have become a source of frustration, hurt, or uncertainty about their relationship.
As both an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist, I bring two areas of specialized training to your treatment. I can assess how sexual desire, arousal, physical health, sexual satisfaction, and relationship difficulties influence one another, including concerns that aren’t immediately obvious to either partner.
Couples can spend years trying to improve their sexual relationship without understanding why their desires differ. I’ll help you identify what’s contributing to the problem and address those issues so you can build a sexual relationship that feels satisfying to both of you.
If the description on this page sounded like your relationship, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online sex therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with couples across Miami, Miami-Dade County, and the rest of Florida.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. Extended sessions (3+ hours) are available for couples who want to make faster progress.
I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar using the button below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you and your partner will receive new client forms via email, which you’ll both review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas served in Miami and Miami-Dade County
I’m registered as an Out-of-State Telehealth Provider with the Florida Department of Health (registration #TPSW16), which allows me to work with couples across Miami and Miami-Dade County by secure, HIPAA-compliant video.
In the City of Miami, I see couples in Brickell, Downtown Miami, and Coconut Grove.
South of downtown, I see couples in Coral Gables, Pinecrest, and Palmetto Bay, and across the bay on Key Biscayne.
On Miami Beach and in northeast Miami-Dade, I see couples in Miami Beach, Surfside, and Miami Shores.
To the west and northwest, I see couples in Doral and Miami Lakes.
In the Florida Keys, I see couples in Key Largo, Islamorada, Marathon, and Key West.
If you’re anywhere in Miami-Dade County, I can work with you.
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In our first sessions, I ask what each of you tried, such as date nights, books, or apps, and what happened after each attempt. We use what you learned to build a plan for resolving the difference that fits for both of you.
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Yes, for both of you. If you’re the partner who wants less sex, I won’t pressure you into sex you don’t want. We look at what has made requests for sex feel like pressure, and we work toward sex you look forward to, at a pace that feels okay to you.
If you’re the partner who wants more sex, wanting sex with your partner is normal, and I take your experience as seriously as your partner’s. We work on how to bring up sex at times that suit both of you and how to hear no without assuming the worst.
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Yes. For example, one of you can join from an office in Miami and the other from home. You’ll both sign on to the same secure video link.
Each of you will need a private space and a reliable internet connection.
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No. I’m not in-network with any insurance company, and I don’t provide Superbills for couples sessions. You’re welcome to use your HSA or FSA card for our sessions.
Common Questions About Sex Therapy for Miami Couples with Desire Discrepancy —
Still have Questions about sex therapy for desire discrepancy?
Please contact me using the button below. I will respond within 2 business days.