Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · AASECT Certified Sex Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Couples Therapy After Infidelity on the South Shore of Massachusetts
Online couples therapy after infidelity for Massachusetts couples in Hingham, Cohasset, Scituate, Duxbury, and Marshfield
If you’re the partner who was betrayed…
Your partner has apologized for the infidelity. They’ve told you how sorry they are, how much they regret hurting you, and that they’ll never do it again.
You may believe they’re genuinely sorry. But that doesn’t mean you feel safe trusting them.
Now, when your partner gets a text and turns their phone away, you notice. If they’re late coming home, you wonder where they are. When they mention a coworker you haven’t heard about before, you find yourself paying closer attention.
You don’t want to spend your days questioning your partner’s behavior. You miss being able to take their word for things without wondering whether there’s more to the story.
And when you tell your partner what’s worrying you, they apologize again. They reassure you that the affair is over, that they love you, and that they would never risk losing your relationship again.
But you’ve heard those promises before. You trusted them before, too.
You may ask what they would do if someone started flirting with them or if they found themselves becoming attracted to someone else. They insist they would never let things go that far again.
You want to know how they would recognize that they were crossing a boundary, what they would do about it, and why you should believe they would make a different choice this time.
Sometimes your partner gets frustrated because they feel they’ve already apologized and answered your questions. You may start to feel guilty for bringing it up again, even though nothing they’ve said has helped you feel much more secure.
You’re tired of looking for signs that something is wrong. You want to relax when your partner goes out, enjoy your time together, and stop wondering whether you’re missing something important.
You want to trust your partner again, but you need to know that they understand how deeply the infidelity has hurt you, recognize the choices they made that led to it, and are taking meaningful steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
If you’re the unfaithful partner…
You know how badly you hurt your partner, and you wish you could undo what happened.
You’ve apologized. You’ve answered questions about the infidelity, reassured your partner that it’s over, and promised you’ll never do anything like it again. And you mean what you’re saying.
But your partner still seems worried that something is going on behind their back.
They ask who you’re texting, why you took longer than expected to get home, or whether you’ve had any contact with the other person. Sometimes a question comes up when you thought the two of you were having a good day together.
You try to reassure them, but the conversation often ends with your partner telling you they still don’t feel like they can trust you.
You feel discouraged. You’ve been trying to be honest and dependable, and you’re not sure what else you can say.
Sometimes, their questions feel like accusations. You know you’re telling the truth now, and it’s frustrating to feel as though your partner assumes you’re still hiding something.
When they want to know more, like how you allowed the relationship with the other person to develop, why you didn’t stop it, or what you’ll do if you face a similar situation, you struggle to explain.
You find yourself pointing out everything you’ve done to be more trustworthy or asking how long they’re going to keep questioning you.
It’s also difficult to hear how much the infidelity has changed your partner’s life. Hearing that they worry when you’re away or question things they once took for granted brings up so much guilt that you start defending yourself, shutting down, or reminding them that you’ve already apologized.
You want your partner to believe that you’re committed to repairing the relationship, but you’re having trouble showing them that you understand the damage you’ve caused and what needs to change.
hope after infidelity
I often work with couples who have reached a point where the unfaithful partner has apologized repeatedly, but the betrayed partner still doesn’t feel secure in the relationship. They need to know their partner understands how deeply they’ve been hurt and what will be different moving forward.
In our sessions, I pay close attention to what happens when you discuss these concerns. When the unfaithful partner becomes defensive or feels accused, I help them recognize how their reaction affects their partner and practice responding differently. The betrayed partner can talk about their fears without having to justify why they’re still hurting, and the unfaithful partner can learn to listen without treating difficult questions as attacks.
I also help you examine the decisions that led to the affair, including where boundaries were crossed and how the unfaithful partner justified those choices.
We discuss what they understand now about the harm they’ve caused and how they’ll handle similar situations differently. The betrayed partner can begin to see whether their partner recognizes what went wrong and is prepared to make different choices.
Together, we’ll develop specific agreements about honesty, boundaries, and transparency. When concerns come up at home, you’ll have a clearer understanding of what’s expected and how to address those concerns without another argument about whether your partner should simply trust you.
As the unfaithful partner follows through on those agreements, the betrayed partner can begin feeling more secure because they’re seeing meaningful changes in behavior, rather than relying on another apology or promise.
How affair recovery works
How I help South Shore Couples Recover from Infidelity, betrayal, and Affairs
When you come to couples therapy because of an affair, we won’t spend months discussing older relationship problems before addressing the betrayal. After our initial three-session assessment, we’ll begin working directly on the affair, the questions that still need answers, and the hurt it’s caused.
There’s a clinical reason for starting here, too. The betrayal affects how you hear and respond to each other, even when you’re discussing problems that have nothing to do with the affair. A conversation about feeling lonely or unheard before the affair may sound to the betrayed partner like an attempt to justify what happened or blame them for their partner’s decision. Meanwhile, the unfaithful partner may become defensive or withdraw when those conversations bring up feelings of guilt or shame.
By addressing the betrayal first, I can help you begin rebuilding enough trust to discuss those older problems without every conversation becoming another argument about the affair. We can then examine what wasn’t working in your relationship while keeping responsibility for the infidelity where it belongs.
The process follows four steps:
A three-session assessment. I meet with you together and individually, and you’ll complete detailed questionnaires that help me understand your relationship and identify where we need to focus.
Repairing the betrayal. I’ll help the betrayed partner get answers to their questions and the unfaithful partner learn to respond honestly, without becoming defensive or withdrawing.
Addressing older relationship hurts. Once we’ve begun repairing the betrayal, we’ll work on unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, and difficulties communicating that may have existed before the affair.
Rebuilding your sexual relationship. We’ll give your sexual relationship more focused attention after addressing the betrayal and older hurts. Whether you’ve continued having sex or stopped after the affair, I’ll help you talk about desire, intimacy, and what each of you needs to feel comfortable.
Throughout the process, I’ll help you develop the skills to have difficult conversations outside of therapy, so you can eventually address problems together without needing me to guide every discussion.
Read more about the full process I take couples through after infidelity here →
How Couples therapy after infidelity can change your relationship
With Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW | Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist & AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist
In couples therapy, I help you address the harm caused by infidelity, understand the decisions that led to it, and make changes that give you both greater confidence in your relationship.
Here’s what can change in your relationship as we work together:
→ You can feel that your partner understands how deeply the infidelity has hurt you.
In our couples therapy sessions, I help your partner listen to your experience without interrupting to explain their intentions or defend themselves. We talk about what has changed for you since discovering the infidelity, including how difficult it has become to trust their explanations, feel comfortable when they’re away, or believe that your relationship is secure.
I help your partner acknowledge those changes in their own words, so you can hear that they understand the pain they’ve caused. When something reminds you of the betrayal, you can talk to them about it without having to justify why you’re upset.
You can begin experiencing your partner as someone who understands what you’re going through and helps you feel better during painful moments, rather than someone whose response makes those moments harder.
→ You can feel more confident that your partner knows how to prevent another betrayal.
I help the unfaithful partner examine the decisions they made before and during the infidelity. We look at the moments when they could have made different choices, what they told themselves to justify crossing boundaries, and how they intend to handle those situations in the future.
Together, we develop specific agreements about boundaries, honesty, and transparency. We also discuss how your partner can bring up a potentially concerning situation themselves, rather than leaving you to discover it or ask questions afterward.
As your partner consistently follows through on these agreements, you can begin feeling more comfortable when they’re away from you, spending time with friends or coworkers, or handling situations that once would have worried you.
You can spend less time wondering whether something is happening behind your back, and more time enjoying your relationship without constantly questioning your partner’s behavior.
→ If you’re the unfaithful partner, your hurt and dissatisfaction can be heard and taken seriously, too.
You may feel tremendous shame about your decision to have an affair while also feeling angry about how your partner treated you. And you may worry that whenever you describe something hurtful they did, the conversation will return to your infidelity, and your complaints will never receive serious attention.
In therapy, I’ll help you express how your partner’s behavior hurt you, including things you may have struggled to communicate before the affair. I’ll help you explain what happened and how it affected you without suggesting that your partner was responsible for your decision to be unfaithful.
This makes it easier for your partner to hear what you’re saying without feeling blamed for the affair. They can begin to understand the impact of their behavior, take responsibility where they’ve hurt you, and offer meaningful apologies, even when you remember parts of your relationship differently.
You can receive genuine understanding and apologies for the pain you experienced, even though you were the partner who had the affair. You’ll also learn how to express dissatisfaction and painful feelings directly, rather than withdrawing, avoiding difficult conversations, or keeping your unhappiness secret.
→ If you’re the unfaithful partner, you can learn to respond to your partner’s concerns without becoming defensive.
In therapy, I help you understand why your partner’s questions come up sometimes more than once, and why they need more than another assurance that you’re telling the truth.
When you become defensive in session, I help you recognize what’s happening and practice responding differently. You learn to acknowledge your partner’s concern, answer the question directly, and show that you understand why they’re worried.
When your partner brings up something painful, you can respond with understanding and offer reassurance without the conversation becoming another argument. You can begin feeling more confident that you’re helping your partner recover from the hurt you’ve caused, rather than unintentionally making it worse.
→ You can feel more comfortable with sexual intimacy as you recover from infidelity.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you talk openly about how infidelity has affected your sexual relationship, including concerns about desire, attraction, and whether physical affection feels comfortable.
We’ll discuss what each of you needs to feel comfortable initiating or declining sex, how to express affection without creating expectations, and how to respond when your partner wants something different from you.
I’ll also help you address questions about the sexual aspects of the affair and explore what each of you enjoys sexually, including things you might want to change about your intimate relationship.
Whether you’ve continued having sex or taken a break, you can begin enjoying physical affection and sexual intimacy with greater confidence that your needs and boundaries will be understood and respected. You’ll be better able to express what you want, talk about what feels uncomfortable, and enjoy being close without feeling pressured.
Who is a Good Fit for this Service?
Couples therapy after infidelity is for couples who both want to repair their relationship and are willing to put time and effort into rebuilding trust.
The infidelity must have ended before we begin working together. I don’t work with couples while an affair is still ongoing.
I work with couples recovering from many forms of infidelity, including physical and emotional affairs, secret online relationships, sexting, paying for sex, and broken agreements in open or non-monogamous relationships.
I also welcome LGBTQIA+ couples and couples where one or both partners is neurodivergent.
If there’s ongoing domestic violence in your relationship, couples therapy may not be a safe place to begin. Individual support and safety planning may be more appropriate before considering work together.
Infidelity therapist & certified Gottman method couples therapist
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and affair recovery has been a central part of my couples practice for more than two decades.
An affair is a crisis, and most couples who come to me have already spent months trying to resolve it on their own, leaving them feeling even more disconnected.
Infidelity creates a specific communication breakdown that good intentions alone often can’t fix. The betrayed partner may need to talk about what happened to process the betrayal, while the unfaithful partner may shut down out of guilt, shame, or defensiveness.
When couples try to resolve the damage caused by the affair without outside help, those conversations can reinforce the same difficulties rather than resolve them. I provide a research-supported, structured approach to helping couples repair their relationship after infidelity.
If the description on this page sounded like your relationship, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online couples therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with couples throughout the South Shore and the surrounding Massachusetts communities.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. Extended sessions (3+ hours) are available for couples who want to make faster progress.
I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in couples therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar using the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you and your partner will receive new client forms via email, which you’ll both review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served on the South Shore of Massachusetts
I’m independently licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW1144781), and I provide online couples therapy after infidelity throughout the South Shore, including coastal communities and nearby inland towns.
This includes:
Hingham, Cohasset, and Hull: Including Hingham Centre, Hingham Harbor, and Hull’s Nantasket Beach area.
Scituate, Marshfield, and Duxbury: Including North Scituate, Greenbush, Brant Rock, Green Harbor, and Duxbury Village.
Other South Shore communities: Norwell, Hanover, Pembroke, Kingston, Plymouth, Rockland, Abington, Hanson, Halifax, Plympton, Carver, and Whitman.
Communities closer to Boston: Weymouth, Braintree, Quincy, Milton, and Randolph.
Because sessions take place online, you and your partner can attend together from home or join from separate private locations.
I also provide couples therapy throughout Massachusetts, including the North Shore and communities farther inland.
For couples closer to the city, you can also learn about online couples therapy after infidelity in Boston.
Common Questions about couples therapy after infidelity on the South Shore —
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Yes. An apology is important, but you may need to understand more about the decisions your partner made and what they’ll do differently in the future.
I’ll help your partner examine how the infidelity developed, take responsibility for the choices they made, and demonstrate changes in their behavior. We’ll also develop clear agreements about honesty, boundaries, and transparency so you have more than promises to rely on as you begin rebuilding trust.
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This is something I help couples address directly in therapy. Your partner may feel ashamed, frustrated, or overwhelmed when you ask difficult questions, but you still deserve honest answers.
When defensiveness gets in the way, I’ll step in and help your partner recognize what’s happening, listen to your concerns, and answer without turning the conversation into an argument. We’ll also work on how to handle these discussions at home so you can raise questions without feeling that another fight is inevitable.
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I provide couples therapy exclusively through secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I don’t have an in-person office on the South Shore.
You and your partner can join from the same location or from separate private locations. Each of you must be physically located in a state where I’m authorized to provide therapy at the time of your appointment.
Still Have Questions about Couples Therapy for Infidelity?
Contact me using the button below. I’ll respond within 2 business days.