AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist · Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Individual Therapy for Sex and Porn Addiction in Westchester County, New York
Online Sex Therapy for New York Adults in White Plains and all of Westchester County
Specialized Sex Therapy in White Plains and Westchester County
You’ve started watching porn or exchanging sexual messages during your workday, and you’re uncomfortable with how difficult it’s become to keep those activities out of your professional life.
At first, it was something you did privately, when you had time to yourself. You enjoyed watching porn, flirting online, or exchanging explicit messages with someone you found attractive. It gave you something exciting to look forward to during an otherwise demanding week.
But gradually, you started making time for it when you were supposed to be doing something else.
You check for messages between meetings or find yourself thinking about a sexual conversation while someone is trying to discuss work with you. Sometimes you spend much longer watching porn or exchanging messages than you intended.
You enjoy the anticipation of receiving another message and the attention of someone who finds you sexually interesting. At work, you’re accustomed to being responsible, making decisions, and meeting other people’s expectations. For a little while, these sexual experiences allow you to feel wanted without having to accomplish anything or take care of anyone else.
But you’ve begun taking risks that make you uncomfortable.
You might open a sexual message on your work computer or leave an explicit conversation visible on your phone where a colleague could see it. You know someone could walk in unexpectedly or that your employer may be able to review activity on company devices.
Yet when another message arrives, you still find yourself making an exception.
You’ve worked hard to establish yourself professionally. You may have spent decades building your career, earning the trust of colleagues and clients, and creating the financial security you enjoy.
The possibility of losing your job over something you’ve been doing for sexual pleasure is deeply unsettling.
You imagine having to explain what happened to your partner or family, facing professional embarrassment, or dealing with the consequences of being dismissed for misconduct.
The anxiety has started following you outside work, too. You replay moments when someone might have noticed what was on your screen or wonder whether your employer could review your online activity.
You’ve tried to stop. You’ve deleted conversations, silenced notifications, and told yourself that anything sexual can wait until you’re home.
Sometimes you’ve managed that for weeks.
Then an especially interesting conversation starts, or you have an afternoon when you can’t concentrate, and you convince yourself that checking one message won’t matter.
Recently, you had another close call.
Maybe a colleague walked into your office unexpectedly, or an explicit notification appeared during a meeting. You managed to close the window or put your phone away before anyone commented.
But afterward, you couldn’t shake the thought of what could have happened.
You realized that you’ve been relying on luck to protect a career you’ve spent years building.
That realization is difficult to live with. You’re scared of losing your job, but you’re also disturbed that knowing the risks hasn’t been enough to make you stop taking them.
You still want to enjoy pornography, flirting, or sexual experiences outside work. You don’t want to feel ashamed of those interests. But you’re no longer willing to keep jeopardizing your professional life for a few minutes of excitement.
You want to enjoy your sexuality without risking your career or the financial security you’ve worked hard to establish. You want to understand why you keep making sexual decisions at work that could have serious consequences, and learn how to follow through on boundaries you genuinely want to maintain.
what we’ll do together
How I Help You Change Sexual Behavior That’s Putting Your Career at Risk
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m an AASECT-certified sex therapist. My specialized training helps me distinguish between sexual desires you genuinely enjoy and behavior that has become difficult to control, even when you understand the professional consequences. That distinction helps us address what’s happening without treating your sexuality itself as the problem.
We’ll look at what happens before you check a sexual message or start watching porn. If you’re preoccupied with whether someone has responded to you, I’ll help you address the anticipation that keeps drawing your attention away from work. If pornography has become a way to avoid an overwhelming assignment, we’ll examine what makes returning to the task difficult and develop another way to manage that moment.
I’ll use what we learn to help you develop responses for the situations that repeatedly lead to sexual activity during work hours. We’ll identify when you’re most likely to make an exception, what decisions you can make before you’re caught up in sexual excitement, and how to follow through when an opportunity arises.
We’ll also address the anxiety you’re experiencing about possible professional consequences. I won’t dismiss those concerns, because the risks you’re worried about may be real. I’ll help you distinguish between risks you can take steps to reduce and worries about what may already have happened, so you’re not continually replaying close calls while trying to change your behavior.
As you make changes between sessions, we’ll examine what happens. If you continue checking sexual messages at work or struggle to resist opening pornography, I’ll help you identify why the approach wasn’t sufficient and adjust it rather than asking you to rely on the same promises again.
Learn more about my approach to sex therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior →
What I Can Help You Address in Sex Therapy
1. You can begin trusting yourself to follow through on decisions about sex and pornography.
In sex therapy, we’ll look at why previous attempts to change your sexual behavior haven’t lasted and identify opportunities to make different choices before changing course becomes especially difficult.
Together, we’ll develop a plan for those moments and examine what happens when you put it into practice, including what needs to change when something doesn’t go as expected.
You can begin building confidence in your ability to keep the commitments you make to yourself. Being home alone, having an unexpected free evening, or experiencing a strong sexual urge doesn’t have to mean repeating a behavior you’ve decided to stop. You can begin collecting evidence from your own experience that you’re capable of making different choices.
2. You can get your time and attention back instead of organizing your life around sexual behavior.
In sex therapy, we’ll examine how much time and attention sexual behavior has been taking from other parts of your life. That includes time spent anticipating the next opportunity, arranging your schedule, concealing what happened, or worrying about being discovered.
I’ll help you understand why certain situations make sexual thoughts particularly difficult to set aside. We’ll work on recognizing when you’re beginning to organize your time around the behavior and identifying what would help you make a different decision.
You can spend an evening alone doing what you intended, concentrate on work without repeatedly checking a site or app, and enjoy time with people you care about without thinking about when you’ll next have an opportunity for sexual activity. You can regain time and mental energy for the parts of your life you’ve been neglecting.
3. You can understand what you’re seeking from sexual behavior and find other ways to meet those needs.
In therapy, we’ll explore what you’re getting from sexual behavior that you haven’t been able to find elsewhere. It might be relief from stress, excitement, feeling wanted, or something you haven’t recognized yet.
I’ll help you understand what you’re feeling and wanting in those situations, including needs you’ve struggled to express or satisfy in other parts of your life. We’ll explore how you can meet those needs more directly, without repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior that conflicts with your intentions or creates unwanted consequences.
You can begin responding to loneliness, stress, rejection, boredom, or a desire for excitement in ways that genuinely address what you’re missing. You can have more choices about how to spend your time and meet your needs, rather than repeatedly turning to sexual activity and regretting it afterward.
4. You can stop organizing your life around secrets and begin earning back your partner’s trust.
If your sexual behavior has involved dishonesty or broken agreements, I’ll help you understand what taking responsibility requires. We’ll examine what makes honesty difficult, including fear of your partner’s reaction, shame about your choices, or the temptation to minimize what happened.
I’ll help you prepare for difficult conversations and learn how to answer questions truthfully, acknowledge the harm you’ve caused, and avoid making promises you aren’t prepared to keep. We’ll also discuss what consistent behavior and accountability can look like over time, recognizing that your partner may need considerable time before they feel comfortable trusting you again.
You can stop deleting conversations, concealing charges, inventing explanations, or worrying about what might happen if your partner picks up your phone. Instead, you can begin living more honestly and giving your partner reasons to believe what you say. You can feel better about how you’re treating the people who matter to you, even while rebuilding trust remains difficult.
5. You can enjoy your sexuality without feeling ashamed of your desires or afraid of losing control.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you examine your sexual desires and preferences without assuming that frequent sex, pornography, masturbation, or consensual sexual interests are inherently unhealthy.
We’ll distinguish between sexual desires you enjoy, behaviors you’ve decided you want to change, and feelings of shame or discomfort that may come from judgments you’ve learned about sexuality. We’ll also explore how to pursue sexual pleasure in ways that respect your values, your boundaries, and any agreements you’ve made with a partner.
If you’re partnered, we can address difficulties discussing sex, differences in desire, and concerns about intimacy. When appropriate and with your agreement, your partner may participate in some sessions.
You can feel more comfortable with your sexuality while becoming more confident in your ability to make deliberate choices. You can enjoy sexual pleasure without treating every desire as a problem, and make decisions about your behavior without repeatedly violating your own boundaries or relationship agreements.
What to Expect in Sex Therapy for Porn and Sex Addiction
Understand Your Sexual Behavior So You Can Change It
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about your sexual history, the behaviors you’re concerned about, and how they’ve affected your life. We’ll discuss what you’ve already tried to change, what happened when you tried, and what you want to be different.
I’ll also want to understand what makes the behavior so compelling for you. Maybe you’ve noticed that certain feelings or situations make it harder to resist a certain behavior. Or perhaps you keep making the same decisions even when you know exactly what the consequences could be.
I’ll help you examine what happens before, during, and after those experiences, including the choices you make long before you engage in the behavior. We’ll also explore your sexual desires, relationships, and experiences with sex to understand what may be contributing to the difficulty you’ve had changing.
My experience as an AASECT-certified sex therapist helps me recognize when sexual habits, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or conflicts about sexuality need different kinds of attention. That means our work can focus on what’s relevant to your situation rather than relying on the same advice you’ve already tried.
Make Changes That Work for You
Once we understand more about what’s happening, I’ll help you address the difficulties that have made changing your behavior so challenging.
That might involve working through shame that makes you reluctant to be honest, learning how to handle strong feelings without immediately turning to sexual activity, or addressing sexual dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll also identify opportunities to make different decisions before you reach the point where you typically return to the behavior. I’ll work with you on how to respond in those situations, and we’ll discuss what happens when you try those changes outside our sessions.
When something doesn’t go as planned, we’ll examine why. Rather than simply asking you to try harder, I’ll help you understand what happened and what needs to change in our approach.
Sex Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Adults and People in Open Relationships
I have extensive experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients and people in open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
I don’t assume that having multiple sexual partners, enjoying casual sex, using hookup apps, or having unconventional sexual interests means your sexual behavior is unhealthy.
What I want to understand is whether you’re able to make decisions about your sexual activity that are consistent with your intentions, your values, and the agreements you’ve made with partners.
If you’ve broken relationship agreements, we can address that honestly without treating your relationship structure or sexual identity as the problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
I’m an autistic therapist who also trains other mental health professionals in working with neurodivergent clients. My teaching includes autism and sexuality, ADHD and executive functioning, sexual and gender diversity, and adapting therapy to neurodivergent people’s needs.
If you’re autistic or have ADHD, I’ll consider how your attention, impulsivity, need for stimulation, routines, sensory experiences, and communication style may affect the sexual behavior you’re trying to change.
I’ll use my experience to develop approaches that fit how you think, communicate, and make decisions. These differences can be important when we’re figuring out why previous attempts haven’t worked and what approaches are likely to be useful for you.
Who is A good fit for Sex and Porn Addiction Therapy?
I work with adults whose pornography use or consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control and is causing problems in their lives. This can include people who are facing legal consequences related to their sexual behavior, such as an arrest for purchasing sex.
You may be a good fit for therapy with me if:
You’ve tried to stop watching porn, using hookup apps, paying for sex, or engaging in other sexual behaviors, but you keep returning to them.
You’re spending more time or money on sexual activity than you intended, and it’s beginning to interfere with your work, relationships, or other responsibilities.
Your partner has discovered sexual behavior you’ve been hiding, and you’re scared your relationship may not survive another broken promise.
You haven’t been caught, but you’re increasingly worried about what could happen if you continue.
You’re doing things you once told yourself you’d never do, and you’re concerned about where your behavior could lead.
Situations Outside My Clinical Practice
→ I don’t provide specialized treatment for sexual offenses, including sexual assault, rape, voyeurism, child sexual abuse, or offenses involving child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This includes situations where someone hasn’t been arrested or charged.
→ I also don’t provide forensic psychosexual evaluations or prepare reports for legal proceedings.
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist for Problematic Sexual Behavior
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and I’ve worked with individuals and couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior for decades.
Over the years, I’ve worked with people whose sexual behavior has put their relationships, careers, finances, or personal lives at risk. Many have tried repeatedly to stop on their own, sometimes keeping their behavior secret for years before deciding to get help.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I bring specialized training in human sexuality to understanding why changing sexual behavior can be so difficult. I’m interested in what makes certain experiences compelling, what keeps someone returning to them, and what needs to change for them to make different decisions.
I help clients understand why they keep returning to sexual behavior they want to change, address what has made previous attempts unsuccessful, and make decisions they can follow through on.
If the description on this page sounded like your situation, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with adult clients in White Plains, all of Westchester County, and across New York.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex and porn addiction therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar by clicking the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you’ll receive new client forms via email, which you’ll review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in White Plains and Westchester County, New York
I’m independently licensed in New York State as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW #086198). I provide individual sex and porn addiction therapy through secure, HIPAA-compliant video to adults throughout White Plains and Westchester County.
Communities I serve include:
White Plains and Central Westchester: White Plains, Scarsdale, Hartsdale, Harrison, Purchase, Rye Brook, Port Chester, Armonk, Valhalla, and Elmsford.
Southern Westchester and the Sound Shore: Bronxville, Eastchester, Tuckahoe, New Rochelle, Larchmont, Mamaroneck, Rye, Pelham, Mount Vernon, and Yonkers.
Rivertowns and Lower Hudson Valley: Tarrytown, Sleepy Hollow, Irvington, Dobbs Ferry, Hastings-on-Hudson, Ardsley, Briarcliff Manor, and Ossining.
Northern Westchester: Chappaqua, Bedford, Bedford Hills, Katonah, Mount Kisco, Pleasantville, Yorktown Heights, Somers, Pound Ridge, and North Salem.
Northwestern Westchester: Croton-on-Hudson, Cortlandt, and Peekskill.
All sessions take place online, so you can attend from home, a private office, or another confidential location while physically located in New York State.
Common Questions about therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior in White Plains and Westchester County —
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Yes. I work with adults whose pornography use or other consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control, including when it interferes with professional responsibilities.
We’ll examine what makes these activities appealing during your workday, what happens before you decide to engage in them, and why previous attempts to keep them outside work hours haven’t lasted.
I’ll help you develop and test strategies for managing those situations, taking your professional obligations and the consequences of further risk-taking seriously.
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If your employer has already discovered the behavior, we can address your anxiety about what might happen next and your decisions about how to respond.
My role is to provide individual therapy, including helping you understand and change your behavior. I don’t provide employment-law advice, workplace investigations, or evaluations intended to determine whether someone should retain their job.
If you’re facing disciplinary action or have questions about your employment rights, you may also need advice from an employment attorney.
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No, I don’t contact your employer or disclose that you’re receiving therapy without your authorization, except where disclosure is required or permitted by law.
Sessions take place through secure, HIPAA-compliant video. You can attend from a private location where you won’t be overheard. If privacy at your workplace is uncertain, I recommend attending from home or another location where you have greater control over your surroundings.
If you have questions about confidentiality or documentation before scheduling, you’re welcome to contact me.
Still Have Questions about therapy for sex and porn addiction?
Use the button below to send me a message. I will respond within 2 business days.