AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist · Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Individual Therapy for Sex and Porn Addiction in SEattle, Washington
Online Sex Therapy for Washington Adults in Seattle, King County, Snohomish County, and Kitsap County
Specialized Sex Therapy in SEattle, Washington
You spend so much of your day taking care of responsibilities that by the time you get home, you’re desperate for some time that belongs entirely to you.
Maybe your work requires you to make decisions all day, manage other people’s problems, or stay available when everyone else has finished working. You’re used to being capable and dependable, but lately, even the smallest additional request feels exhausting.
Watching porn or pursuing other sexual experiences gives you something to look forward to.
You enjoy the excitement, the pleasure, and the freedom to spend time doing exactly what you want. Nobody needs anything from you, and you don’t have to make another difficult decision. For a while, you can stop thinking about everything that needs your attention.
You tell yourself you’ll watch porn for half an hour before bed. But when it’s time to stop, you don’t want to. Going to sleep means the evening is over, and tomorrow you’ll wake up to the same demands.
So you keep watching.
You know you need the sleep, but another hour of pleasure feels more appealing than going to bed and starting another demanding day.
And lately, you’re paying for it.
You’re exhausted when the alarm goes off. You’re less patient with people you care about, and it’s harder to concentrate on things that usually come easily to you. You spend the day looking forward to finally having some time to yourself, knowing that staying up late again will make tomorrow even harder.
You’ve promised yourself you’ll go to bed earlier, spend less time watching porn, or find another way to relax. But when the evening comes, you resent the idea of giving up the one part of your day that feels entirely yours.
Then one morning, after another night when you watched porn much longer than you intended, you realize you’re dreading the day before it has even started.
You’ve had mornings like this before. But this time, the thought of doing it all over again feels unbearable.
You’re tired of being exhausted and needing relief from a life that’s becoming harder to manage. Yet you’re scared that if you give up the sexual experiences you look forward to, you’ll have nothing left that makes those demanding days feel worthwhile.
You genuinely enjoy your sexuality, and you don’t want therapy to mean losing that pleasure. You also recognize that the way you’ve been pursuing it is leaving you increasingly depleted.
You want to enjoy sexual pleasure without sacrificing the sleep, energy, and wellbeing you need to enjoy the rest of your life. You want to look forward to your evenings without dreading the mornings that follow.
How I Help You Change Sexual Behavior That’s Become Difficult to Control
I’ve been a therapist since 1988, and I’m an AASECT-certified sex therapist. My specialized training helps me examine your sexual behavior in the context of your emotional needs, your beliefs about pleasure, and the consequences you’re experiencing. I’ll help you understand why pornography has become such an important source of relief and what makes it difficult to stop, without assuming that enjoying porn or having a strong sexual desire is inherently unhealthy.
We’ll look at what happens during the hours before you start watching porn. I’ll want to understand what has left you depleted, what you're looking forward to when you finally have time alone, and what you feel when you consider ending the evening. Those details help me identify whether we need to address difficulty managing stress, the anticipation of sexual pleasure, habits that have become difficult to change, or a combination of these concerns.
If stopping means immediately returning to thoughts about tomorrow’s responsibilities, we’ll work on ways to make that transition easier. I’ll help you develop other opportunities for rest, enjoyment, and relief that fit into your life, so pornography isn't carrying the entire burden of making your evenings pleasurable.
We’ll also address the resentment you feel about making changes. If you already spend most of your day meeting demands, another set of restrictions can feel like one more thing being taken away from you. I’ll help you determine what limits you're genuinely willing to maintain and how to protect time for pleasure while getting the rest you need.
As you try these changes between sessions, we’ll examine what happens on the evenings when you’re especially overwhelmed or exhausted. If you continue watching longer than intended, I’ll help you identify what made it difficult to stop and adjust our approach rather than asking you to rely on willpower again.
My goal is to help you enjoy your sexuality while having enough time, energy, and attention for the rest of your life, without feeling that you have to choose between sexual pleasure and your wellbeing.
What I Can Help You Address in Sex Therapy
1. You can begin trusting yourself to follow through on decisions about sex and pornography.
In sex therapy, we’ll look at why previous attempts to change your sexual behavior haven’t lasted and identify opportunities to make different choices before changing course becomes especially difficult.
Together, we’ll develop a plan for those moments and examine what happens when you put it into practice, including what needs to change when something doesn’t go as expected.
You can begin building confidence in your ability to keep the commitments you make to yourself. Being home alone, having an unexpected free evening, or experiencing a strong sexual urge doesn’t have to mean repeating a behavior you’ve decided to stop. You can begin collecting evidence from your own experience that you’re capable of making different choices.
2. You can get your time and attention back instead of organizing your life around sexual behavior.
In sex therapy, we’ll examine how much time and attention sexual behavior has been taking from other parts of your life. That includes time spent anticipating the next opportunity, arranging your schedule, concealing what happened, or worrying about being discovered.
I’ll help you understand why certain situations make sexual thoughts particularly difficult to set aside. We’ll work on recognizing when you’re beginning to organize your time around the behavior and identifying what would help you make a different decision.
You can spend an evening alone doing what you intended, concentrate on work without repeatedly checking a site or app, and enjoy time with people you care about without thinking about when you’ll next have an opportunity for sexual activity. You can regain time and mental energy for the parts of your life you’ve been neglecting.
3. You can understand what you’re seeking from sexual behavior and find other ways to meet those needs.
In therapy, we’ll explore what you’re getting from sexual behavior that you haven’t been able to find elsewhere. It might be relief from stress, excitement, feeling wanted, or something you haven’t recognized yet.
I’ll help you understand what you’re feeling and wanting in those situations, including needs you’ve struggled to express or satisfy in other parts of your life. We’ll explore how you can meet those needs more directly, without repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior that conflicts with your intentions or creates unwanted consequences.
You can begin responding to loneliness, stress, rejection, boredom, or a desire for excitement in ways that genuinely address what you’re missing. You can have more choices about how to spend your time and meet your needs, rather than repeatedly turning to sexual activity and regretting it afterward.
4. You can stop organizing your life around secrets and begin earning back your partner’s trust.
If your sexual behavior has involved dishonesty or broken agreements, I’ll help you understand what taking responsibility requires. We’ll examine what makes honesty difficult, including fear of your partner’s reaction, shame about your choices, or the temptation to minimize what happened.
I’ll help you prepare for difficult conversations and learn how to answer questions truthfully, acknowledge the harm you’ve caused, and avoid making promises you aren’t prepared to keep. We’ll also discuss what consistent behavior and accountability can look like over time, recognizing that your partner may need considerable time before they feel comfortable trusting you again.
You can stop deleting conversations, concealing charges, inventing explanations, or worrying about what might happen if your partner picks up your phone. Instead, you can begin living more honestly and giving your partner reasons to believe what you say. You can feel better about how you’re treating the people who matter to you, even while rebuilding trust remains difficult.
5. You can enjoy your sexuality without feeling ashamed of your desires or afraid of losing control.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you examine your sexual desires and preferences without assuming that frequent sex, pornography, masturbation, or consensual sexual interests are inherently unhealthy.
We’ll distinguish between sexual desires you enjoy, behaviors you’ve decided you want to change, and feelings of shame or discomfort that may come from judgments you’ve learned about sexuality. We’ll also explore how to pursue sexual pleasure in ways that respect your values, your boundaries, and any agreements you’ve made with a partner.
If you’re partnered, we can address difficulties discussing sex, differences in desire, and concerns about intimacy. When appropriate and with your agreement, your partner may participate in some sessions.
You can feel more comfortable with your sexuality while becoming more confident in your ability to make deliberate choices. You can enjoy sexual pleasure without treating every desire as a problem, and make decisions about your behavior without repeatedly violating your own boundaries or relationship agreements.
What to Expect in Sex Therapy for Porn and Sex Addiction
Understand Your Sexual Behavior So You Can Change It
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about your sexual history, the behaviors you’re concerned about, and how they’ve affected your life. We’ll discuss what you’ve already tried to change, what happened when you tried, and what you want to be different.
I’ll also want to understand what makes the behavior so compelling for you. Maybe you’ve noticed that certain feelings or situations make it harder to resist a certain behavior. Or perhaps you keep making the same decisions even when you know exactly what the consequences could be.
I’ll help you examine what happens before, during, and after those experiences, including the choices you make long before you engage in the behavior. We’ll also explore your sexual desires, relationships, and experiences with sex to understand what may be contributing to the difficulty you’ve had changing.
My experience as an AASECT-certified sex therapist helps me recognize when sexual habits, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or conflicts about sexuality need different kinds of attention. That means our work can focus on what’s relevant to your situation rather than relying on the same advice you’ve already tried.
Make Changes That Work for You
Once we understand more about what’s happening, I’ll help you address the difficulties that have made changing your behavior so challenging.
That might involve working through shame that makes you reluctant to be honest, learning how to handle strong feelings without immediately turning to sexual activity, or addressing sexual dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll also identify opportunities to make different decisions before you reach the point where you typically return to the behavior. I’ll work with you on how to respond in those situations, and we’ll discuss what happens when you try those changes outside our sessions.
When something doesn’t go as planned, we’ll examine why. Rather than simply asking you to try harder, I’ll help you understand what happened and what needs to change in our approach.
Sex Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Adults and People in Open Relationships
I have extensive experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients and people in open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
I don’t assume that having multiple sexual partners, enjoying casual sex, using hookup apps, or having unconventional sexual interests means your sexual behavior is unhealthy.
What I want to understand is whether you’re able to make decisions about your sexual activity that are consistent with your intentions, your values, and the agreements you’ve made with partners.
If you’ve broken relationship agreements, we can address that honestly without treating your relationship structure or sexual identity as the problem.
Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
I’m an autistic therapist who also trains other mental health professionals in working with neurodivergent clients. My teaching includes autism and sexuality, ADHD and executive functioning, sexual and gender diversity, and adapting therapy to neurodivergent people’s needs.
If you’re autistic or have ADHD, I’ll consider how your attention, impulsivity, need for stimulation, routines, sensory experiences, and communication style may affect the sexual behavior you’re trying to change.
I’ll use my experience to develop approaches that fit how you think, communicate, and make decisions. These differences can be important when we’re figuring out why previous attempts haven’t worked and what approaches are likely to be useful for you.
Who is A good fit for Sex and Porn Addiction Therapy?
I work with adults whose pornography use or consensual sexual behavior has become difficult to control and is causing problems in their lives. This can include people who are facing legal consequences related to their sexual behavior, such as an arrest for buying sex.
You may be a good fit for therapy with me if:
You’ve tried to stop watching porn, using hookup apps, paying for sex, or engaging in other sexual behaviors, but you keep returning to them.
You’re spending more time or money on sexual activity than you intended, and it’s beginning to interfere with your work, relationships, or other responsibilities.
Your partner has discovered sexual behavior you’ve been hiding, and you’re scared your relationship may not survive another broken promise.
You haven’t been caught, but you’re increasingly worried about what could happen if you continue.
You’re doing things you once told yourself you’d never do, and you’re concerned about where your behavior could lead.
Situations Outside My Clinical Practice
→ I don’t provide specialized treatment for sexual offenses, including sexual assault, rape, voyeurism, child sexual abuse, or offenses involving child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This includes situations where someone hasn’t been arrested or charged.
→ I also don’t provide forensic psychosexual evaluations or prepare reports for legal proceedings.
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist for Problematic Sexual Behavior
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and I’ve worked with individuals and couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior for decades.
Over the years, I’ve worked with people whose sexual behavior has put their relationships, careers, finances, or personal lives at risk. Many have tried repeatedly to stop on their own, sometimes keeping their behavior secret for years before deciding to get help.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I bring specialized training in human sexuality to understanding why changing sexual behavior can be so difficult. I’m interested in what makes certain experiences compelling, what keeps someone returning to them, and what needs to change for them to make different decisions.
I help clients understand why they keep returning to sexual behavior they want to change, address what has made previous attempts unsuccessful, and make decisions they can follow through on.
If the description on this page sounded like your situation, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with adult clients in all of the Seattle metro area.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in sex and porn addiction therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar by clicking the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you’ll receive new client forms via email, which you’ll review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Seattle, Washington
I’m licensed in Washington as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW #SWI.LW.60698797). I provide individual sex and porn addiction therapy through secure, HIPAA-compliant video across Seattle, King County, Snohomish County, and Kitsap County.
I work with adults in every Seattle neighborhood, including:
Central Seattle: Capitol Hill, First Hill, Downtown, Belltown, South Lake Union, Queen Anne, Magnolia, Madison Park, Madrona, and Montlake.
North Seattle: Ballard, Fremont, Wallingford, Green Lake, Phinney Ridge, Greenwood, University District, Ravenna, Laurelhurst, and Wedgwood.
West and South Seattle: West Seattle, Alki, Admiral, Beacon Hill, Columbia City, Mount Baker, Seward Park, and Rainier Valley.
I also work with adults throughout nearby communities:
King County: Shoreline, Lake Forest Park, Kenmore, Renton, Burien, SeaTac, Des Moines, Tukwila, Kent, and Federal Way.
Snohomish County: Edmonds, Lynnwood, Mountlake Terrace, Mukilteo, Mill Creek, and Everett.
Kitsap County: Bainbridge Island and Poulsbo.
All sessions take place online, so you can attend from home or another private location while physically located in Washington.
Common Questions about therapy for out-of-control sexual behavior in Seattle —
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You don’t have to decide to give up pornography entirely before starting therapy. We can look at what you enjoy about it, why it’s become such an important way for you to unwind, and which parts of your behavior you want to change.
If you’ve tried other ways to relax but keep returning to porn, I’ll help you figure out why those alternatives haven’t been satisfying or effective. We can work on developing other ways to relieve stress and enjoy your free time, while helping you follow through on the limits you want to set around pornography.
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Recognizing that you turn to sexual activity when you’re stressed is useful, but there may be more happening than you realize.
For example, you might begin anticipating an evening alone hours before you open a porn site or an app. By the time you sit down, you’ve already made several decisions that move you closer to the behavior you intended to avoid.
I’ll help you identify those earlier decisions, understand what makes them compelling, and practice responding differently before you reach the point where changing course feels especially difficult. If an approach isn’t working, we’ll examine what happened and adjust it.
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No. I provide individual sex therapy exclusively through secure, HIPAA-compliant video.
I’m independently licensed in Washington and work with adults throughout Seattle, King County, Snohomish County, and Kitsap County.
You can attend from any private location while physically located in Washington or another state where I’m authorized to practice.
Still Have Questions about therapy for sex and porn addiction?
Use the button below to send me a message. I will respond within 2 business days.