Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist · AASECT Certified Sex Therapist · Practicing Therapy Since 1988
Couples Therapy After Infidelity in Miami, Florida
Online Couples therapy after infidelity, betrayal, and affairs for Florida couples in Miami, Miami Beach, Coral Gables, and across Miami-Dade County
If you’re the partner who was betrayed…
You only found out about your partner’s infidelity a few weeks or months ago. You’re still trying to absorb the fact that the person you trusted has been lying to you, and now you’re facing the possibility that they’ll see or speak to the person they had the affair with.
Maybe they work together or have mutual friends. Your partner tells you the affair is over, but the thought of them seeing each other again is almost unbearable.
You wonder whether your partner still has feelings for that person, whether they miss them, and whether seeing them again might bring back something your partner says is over.
When your partner mentions an upcoming work event, your stomach drops. Will the other person be there? Will they talk? And if they do, will your partner tell you?
When you bring up these worries, your partner reassures you that the affair is over. They explain that they can’t control who attends a meeting or whether the other person approaches them.
You understand that. But you’re still trying to understand how the infidelity happened in the first place. Your partner made decisions you never imagined they would make, and you’re only beginning to learn how they justified those choices while telling you everything was fine.
You want to ask what they’ll do if the other person approaches them. Whether they’ll tell you if they have a conversation. Whether they’d be honest about an encounter they knew would upset you.
But sometimes your partner becomes frustrated, as though you’re asking them to guarantee that something outside their control will never happen.
You aren’t asking them to control every encounter.
You need to understand what’s different about the decisions your partner will make now, when you still can’t make sense of the decisions they made during the affair. You want to trust them again, but you need more than a promise that the affair is over.
If you’re the unfaithful partner…
You’ve ended the affair, and you desperately want to repair the damage you’ve caused. But there’s a complication you can’t easily resolve: you may still encounter the person you had the affair with.
Maybe you work in the same organization or have mutual friends. You have no intention of continuing the relationship, but you know there are circumstances where you could see or hear from that person again.
Your partner wants to know what you’ll do if that happens. Will you speak to them? What if they send you a message? Will you tell your partner, even if nothing important happened?
You explain that the affair is over and you have no intention of restarting it. You can’t control whether the other person attends a meeting or approaches you.
You think you’re being reasonable. But your partner becomes more upset.
Sometimes you feel as though they’re asking you to promise something you can’t possibly guarantee. You want them to understand that unexpectedly seeing someone doesn’t mean you’ve betrayed them again.
What’s harder to understand is why your partner doesn’t find that reassuring. You have no intention of restarting the affair. You wish they could believe that without needing to discuss every possible encounter.
You’re also unsure how much information to share. If you briefly see the affair partner, should you mention it? You don’t want to cause more pain by bringing up something insignificant. But if you say nothing and your partner finds out later, they could feel betrayed all over again.
When you try to explain your reasoning, your partner questions it. You start feeling accused, and you become defensive. Before long, you’re arguing about whether you can be trusted instead of discussing what your partner is worried about.
You want your partner to believe you’re committed to rebuilding your relationship. But you don’t always recognize that they’re asking how you’ll make different choices, while you’re trying to convince them that nothing will happen.
Hope after infidelity
When you’re worried about your partner seeing the person they had the affair with, you may end up arguing about whether contact can be avoided. I’ll help you get to the questions that aren’t being answered: What will your partner do if the other person approaches them? Will they tell you afterward? And how will they handle an encounter they know could upset you?
We’ll also look at how the infidelity happened in the first place, including the decisions the unfaithful partner made, how they justified those choices, and why they kept things secret. Understanding those decisions can help you identify what needs to change, so the betrayed partner has more to rely on than another promise that the affair is over.
Sometimes the unfaithful partner believes an encounter doesn’t need to be mentioned because nothing inappropriate happened. I’ll help them understand why making that decision without their partner’s knowledge can damage trust again.
Together, we’ll establish what information needs to be volunteered, how unexpected encounters should be handled, and how to discuss concerns without another argument.
You can begin evaluating your partner’s trustworthiness through the choices they make and the information they share voluntarily.
And when something worries you, you can ask questions and get reassurance without having to fight for an answer.
How Couples therapy after infidelity can change your relationship
With Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW | Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist & AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist
In the weeks and months after discovering infidelity, you may have questions you still need answered, fears about what could happen again, and difficulty talking with your partner without becoming upset or defensive. I’ll help you understand what happened, address the concerns that are making it difficult to trust, and begin making changes you can see and experience in your relationship.
Here’s what can change as we work together:
1. You can get answers about the infidelity and begin trusting your own judgment again.
After discovering infidelity, you may find yourself reconsidering things your partner said and did during the affair. You remember times when they seemed distracted, unusually affectionate, or distant, and wonder what was happening that you knew nothing about.
You have questions about how the affair began, what your partner felt for the other person, and how they managed to keep it from you. When an explanation doesn’t fit what you remember, you may wonder whether there’s more you haven’t been told.
In couples therapy, I’ll help you ask those questions and guide your partner in answering honestly, even when the answers are difficult. When explanations are incomplete or inconsistent, we’ll address those differences. I’ll also help you distinguish what can be established from what remains uncertain, rather than leaving you to keep searching for answers that may not exist.
You can begin developing a clearer understanding of what happened and which of your suspicions are supported by the facts. As you make sense of what you’ve learned, you can become more confident in your judgment and make decisions about your relationship without feeling that you have to accept an explanation simply because your partner has given one.
2. If you’re the unfaithful partner, your hurt and dissatisfaction can be heard and taken seriously, too.
You may feel tremendous shame about your decision to have an affair while also feeling angry about how your partner treated you. And you may worry that whenever you describe something hurtful they did, the conversation will return to your infidelity, and your complaints will never receive serious attention.
In therapy, I’ll help you express how your partner’s behavior hurt you, including things you may have struggled to communicate before the affair. I’ll help you explain what happened and how it affected you without suggesting that your partner was responsible for your decision to be unfaithful.
This makes it easier for your partner to hear what you’re saying without feeling blamed for the affair. They can begin to understand the impact of their behavior, take responsibility where they’ve hurt you, and offer meaningful apologies, even when you remember parts of your relationship differently.
You can receive genuine understanding and apologies for the pain you experienced, even though you were the partner who had the affair. You’ll also learn how to express dissatisfaction and painful feelings directly, rather than withdrawing, avoiding difficult conversations, or keeping your unhappiness secret.
3. If you’re the unfaithful partner, you can become someone your partner turns to when they’re hurting.
You regret the infidelity and want to repair your relationship. But hearing how much your partner is still hurting can leave you overwhelmed by guilt or ashamed of what you’ve done.
Sometimes you withdraw because you don’t know what to say. Other times, you become defensive or frustrated because you feel that nothing you do is enough. Your partner ends up comforting you or defending their need to talk. They may even keep their feelings to themselves to avoid another argument, which is the opposite of what you want.
When this happens in therapy, I’ll slow the conversation down and help you stay engaged. We’ll look at why your partner is bringing something up and what they need from you. Sometimes they want an answer. Other times, they need you to acknowledge how much something hurt or reassure them that you understand why they’re worried.
I’ll help you respond without making your partner responsible for managing your guilt or convincing you that your efforts are appreciated.
Your partner can begin turning to you for comfort without worrying that they’ll have to manage your emotions, too. And you can experience what it’s like to help them through a painful moment rather than leaving another conversation feeling that you’ve hurt them again.
4. You can discuss painful reminders of the infidelity without every conversation becoming another fight.
You might be having a wonderful day together when something unexpectedly reminds you of the affair. A photograph, a familiar place, or something your partner says brings up feelings you thought you’d already worked through.
You want to talk about it, but your partner becomes defensive or starts to shut down. They thought the two of you were doing better. Soon you’re arguing about why you’re still upset rather than discussing what brought up those feelings.
I’ll help you recognize when the conversation is turning into an argument and stop it before things get worse. We’ll work on helping the betrayed partner explain what they need and the unfaithful partner respond without treating the reminder as evidence that their efforts to repair the relationship have failed.
When either of you becomes too upset to continue, I’ll help you learn how to take a break without leaving the other person feeling abandoned or dismissed, and return to the conversation when you’re both ready.
You can bring up something painful, get the comfort or answers you need, and return to enjoying your time together instead of spending the rest of the evening arguing or avoiding each other. A difficult reminder doesn’t have to undo an otherwise good day.
5. You can begin feeling comfortable with physical affection and sexual intimacy again.
Since discovering the infidelity, sex may be the last thing on your mind. You’re still trying to understand what happened and whether you can trust your partner. The idea of being sexually vulnerable with them again may feel almost impossible right now.
You might miss the affection you once shared, even if you have no desire to have sex. Or you may find that being touched by your partner brings up hurt, anger, or thoughts about their sexual relationship with someone else.
For the unfaithful partner, it can be difficult to know whether affection is welcome. You may miss being close but worry that initiating physical contact will upset your partner or make them feel pressured.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I’ll help you understand how the betrayal has affected your desire, comfort with touch, and feelings about sexual intimacy. We can address questions about the affair that affect your sexual relationship, including painful comparisons with the other person.
I’ll also help you communicate what kinds of affection feel welcome and what you’re not ready for. If one of you wants physical closeness and the other doesn’t, we can discuss that without either of you feeling pressured or rejected.
You can eventually feel more comfortable expressing sexual desire again. Whether you’ve stopped having sex or continued throughout recovery, you can develop an intimate relationship where both partners feel wanted, respected, and free to be honest about their desires.
How affair recovery works
How I help Miami couples repair their relationship after infidelity, betrayal, and affairs
When you come to couples therapy because of an affair, we won’t spend months discussing older relationship problems before addressing the betrayal. After our initial three-session assessment, we’ll begin working directly on the affair, the questions that still need answers, and the hurt it’s caused.
There’s a clinical reason for starting here, too. Even when you’re trying to talk about problems that existed before the affair, the betrayal can affect how you hear and respond to each other. We need to address what happened before we can work effectively on those older problems.
I’ll guide you through the recovery process in this order:
A three-session assessment
Repairing the betrayal and hurt caused by the affair
Repairing older hurts and vulnerabilities in the relationship
Finally, repairing your sexual relationship, once trust has had enough time to rebuild
Read more about the full process I take couples through after infidelity here →
Who is a Good Fit for this Service?
I work with every form of infidelity: physical or emotional affairs, a secret online relationship or sexting, hidden pornography use or visits to strip clubs, secretly paying for sex, or a broken agreement in an open or non-monogamous relationship.
Therapy with me is for couples where both people want to repair the relationship.
If there is ongoing domestic violence in your relationship, couples therapy is not an appropriate service. Couples therapy asks both of you to speak honestly in session, and when one partner is being hurt or controlled at home, that honesty can create danger after the session ends. Individual therapy is a safer starting place.
Infidelity therapist & certified Gottman method couples therapist
I’m Kate McNulty, LCSW, LICSW
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 1988, and affair recovery has been a central part of my couples practice for more than two decades. An affair is a crisis, and most couples who come to me have already spent months trying to resolve it on their own, leaving them feeling even more disconnected.
Infidelity creates a specific communication breakdown that good intentions can’t fix. The betrayed partner needs to talk to process what happened; the unfaithful partner shuts down out of shame or defensiveness. Attempts to resolve the damage caused by the affair without outside intervention reinforce that breakdown rather than interrupt it.
I provide the research-supported structure of repairing your relationship after infidelity.
If the description on this page sounded like your relationship, I’d like to help.
Logistics
Pricing, scheduling, and online couples therapy sessions
All sessions are conducted by secure, HIPAA-compliant video. I work with couples in Miami and across Florida.
Sessions are private pay, billed at $500 per hour and $750 for 90-minute sessions. Extended sessions (3+ hours) are available for couples who want to make faster progress. I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. For more information about pricing, please see the pricing page.
How to get started in couples therapy
To schedule your first appointment, please choose a day and time on my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar using the button directly below.
After I approve your request, typically within one business day, you and your partner will receive new client forms via email, which you’ll both review and digitally sign before we meet.
Areas Served in Miami, Florida
I’m registered as an Out-of-State Telehealth Provider with the Florida Department of Health (registration #TPSW16), which allows me to provide online couples therapy throughout Miami and the surrounding communities in Miami-Dade County.
This includes:
Miami neighborhoods: Brickell, Downtown Miami, Coconut Grove, Coral Way, Little Havana, Edgewater, Wynwood, Midtown, the Design District, and Little Haiti.
Miami Beach and nearby communities: South Beach, Mid-Beach, North Beach, Surfside, Bal Harbour, Bay Harbor Islands, and North Bay Village.
Coral Gables and southern Miami-Dade: Coral Gables, South Miami, Pinecrest, Palmetto Bay, Cutler Bay, Kendall, and Key Biscayne.
Western and northern Miami-Dade: Doral, West Miami, Hialeah, Miami Springs, Miami Lakes, Miami Shores, North Miami, North Miami Beach, Aventura, and Sunny Isles Beach.
I provide therapy through secure video sessions, so you and your partner can attend together or from separate private locations.
I also work with couples in other cities and communities throughout Florida.
Common Questions about couples therapy after infidelity in Miami —
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Yes, as long as the affair has ended and both partners are committed to repairing the relationship.
Sometimes the question is whether continued workplace contact is necessary at all. The betrayed partner may want the unfaithful partner to change jobs, while the unfaithful partner believes they can maintain appropriate boundaries without leaving their position.
I help you examine the circumstances rather than assuming one solution is right for every couple. We’ll look at what alternatives are available and what the betrayed partner would need to feel more secure.
If some contact remains unavoidable, we establish specific agreements about how it will be handled, what information will be shared, and how to respond if circumstances change.
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Even if you understand why an encounter couldn't be avoided, hearing that your partner saw the affair partner can be painful. You may wonder whether they still have feelings for that person, what it was like to see them again, or whether they’re telling you everything that happened.
I’ll help you ask those questions and get honest answers without the conversation turning into another fight. I’ll also help your partner understand why explaining that the encounter was unavoidable doesn’t address what you’re afraid of.
Your partner can learn to answer your questions, acknowledge how upsetting the encounter was, and reassure you without becoming defensive.
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I provide couples therapy exclusively through secure, HIPAA-compliant video sessions. You can attend from your home in Miami or another private location.
You and your partner can join from separate locations using the same video session link. You’ll need a private space and reliable internet.
I’m able to see couples located in Florida, Massachusetts, New York, Oregon, and Washington.
Still Have Questions about Couples Therapy for Infidelity?
Contact me using the button below. I’ll respond within 2 business days.